It Takes a Village
by atlasundone
Summary: Callie, Arizona, & Mark navigate through parenthood. *This story is REALLY about Arizona loving Callie so much that she'd stay through the pregnancy, even if it meant friendship only. Now a second chance presents itself - Can they make it right?
1. Chapter 1

"Aunt Zona! You made it!" Lily squealed, running up the aisle of the auditorium towards Arizona. As she approaches she makes a flying leap into her arms.

"Of course I did," Arizona says, hugging her tightly before placing her back on her feet. "Would I miss it?"

"Never ever," she beams.

"Never ever."

Lily grabs Arizona by the hand, leading her towards her mother, who has her belongings sprawled out over three seats. She's leafing through the program.

"Hey," Arizona says, a little out of breath from rushing to get there on time. She leans in and kisses Callie on the cheek.

"Hey, just in time," she says. "Was the hospital busy?"

"Little bit," Arizona answers, moving Callie's purse from one the chairs so that she can sit. "Mark should be here in five, he was a few minutes behind me. And _your_ tutu looks even better today than it did yesterday!" she says, pulling Lily in to tickle her for a minute. She had tried her outfit on for both women last night.

"No it doesn't!" she cries happily, her little body twisting to get away from poking fingers. "It looks the same!"

"Well then you just keep getting more and more beautiful." And she is beautiful. She has flawless tan skin, and rich brown eyes. She is a spitfire Latina, like her mother.

"Lily, there's your teacher. It's time to go backstage," Calliope says, straightening the bow in Lily's hair and pointing her in the right direction. "Good luck baby, don't forget to smile!" she says, pulling her daughter in for a kiss. "I love you!"

"Love you too, Mom!" Lily yells, but she's already halfway across the auditorium. Looking down, Arizona can see that Callie already has a tissue balled up in her lap.

"Calliope, already?" she asks, astonished.

"Shut up, it's her first recital," she says, welling up. She's one of _those_ moms.

"Hey," Mark whispers, arriving just as the lights start to go down. Callie and Arizona stand to shift over one, which is met with fierce consternation by the people behind them. Apparently, they're _all _"those" moms.

They sit through several acts before Lily's class even gets on stage. Arizona's stomach is in knots. She thinks, _God what if she gets stage fright? What if the girl next to her pirouettes into her? Can they even _do_ pirouettes at this age?_

And then:

_Wait, what the fuck _is_ a pirouette? Maybe I'm getting that mixed up with something else._

In any case, she is as nervous as she'd be if she were her own mother (and despite making fun of Callie, a small part of her feels choked up, too).

As soon as she gets onstage, Arizona realizes that she's been worrying for naught.

"She's so good!" she says, grabbing onto Calliope's arm happily. "She's the best one up there! Seriously, look at that girl on the end. She's terrible."

"Arizona, they're five," she scolds her. But she's smirking and it's clear she thinks so, too. And Mark hasn't stopped smiling yet.

And then there's a moment – if you've been to a dance recital before, you know the one.

The one where the song is coming to an end, and the dancers are gearing up for that finishing pose. It's all very climactic. The music crescendos and then, with a final surge, it is silent, and everyone is perfectly still. (Except, these are in fact 5-year-olds, so sure, there's a _little _bit of movement).

But this is what happens. And Calliope and Arizona are holding on to each other's arms so tightly, both of them blubbering like the kid was getting married or something; proud as punch. Clapping foolishly. Standing ovation.

Mark stretches his arm to encompass the both of them, smiles broadly, and says: "That was amazing."

When the recital is over, Lily comes running into the room, all smiles.

"Did you love it? Was I good?" she yells, even though she's nowhere near them yet. "Hey Dad!" she says, wrapping her little arms around his waist. "Did you see me?"

"You bet I did!" Mark says, slinging her up into his arms. "You were like Natalie Portman in Black Swan, minus the crazy."

"Huh?"

"Like Belle, in Beauty in the Beast," he rectifies. Lily's eyes go wide.

"_That _good?"

"Better."

When we get to the car, Arizona helps strap Lily into her booster seat.

"I'm so proud of you," she whispers conspiratorially.

She leans in, touching her forehead to the blonde's. "How proud?" she whispers back.

Arizona reaches into her pocket and pulls out a York Peppermint Patty. They're Lily's favorite. Her mother would never let her eat chocolate so late at night. "Hide that," Arizona tells her.

She smiles up at Arizona, nodding her head solemnly and making the candy disappear.

"I love you Cupcake," Arizona says, kissing her goodbye.

"Love you, Aunt Zo. Bye Daddy!"

"See ya, Sweetpea. You and me this weekend, right?" he says, poking his head into the car to kiss her.

"Right!"

Once Mark has pulled out and Lily is tucked into the car, Callie turns to Arizona.

"She's gonna be out like a light in ten minutes, tops," she says.

"She was so great tonight… I don't think I'll ever stop bragging."

Callie laughed. "I believe that. Do you wanna come over for a glass of wine or something?"

Arizona looks at her watch. A little after eight.

"Shoot. I actually have a date," she says. And even though they haven't been together in close to six years, this still feels coarse on her tongue.

Callie nods. "Lori?"

"No, her name's Kate. You haven't met her."

"Oh. Okay. Well, I'll see you tomorrow then. Have fun," she says, putting on a smile.

"Thanks Calliope. Goodnight." And as Arizona leans in to kiss her cheek, she can smell just a breath of her shampoo.

And for a minute, she is home again.


	2. Chapter 2

"Found a York's wrapper in Lily's bed this morning," Callie said, sidling up next to Arizona at a nurse's station.

"You're letting her eat chocolate in bed now? Shame on you, Dr. Torres," she says, her pen continuing to spew notes onto a chart.

"Yes I have been known to be a bit naughty," Callie responds, causing Arizona to quirk an eyebrow and look up. "You can help me with that, if you want," Callie adds.

Arizona is a bit speechless, and even she knows that her eyebrow is yet to descend. Callie leans in and lowers her voice so that it is husky (and that's always been Arizona's favorite).

"You can come over later…"

"Uh-huh…" Arizona prods.

"…And wash her sheets." She shuts her chart with a smack, startling the blonde out of her state of semi-paralysis. Callie stands back smiling before looking at her more intensely.

"Wow, you really fell for that hard," she says, sounding amused. "You're too easy."

"Am not," Arizona pouts.

"Gotta go," she says, handing one of the nurses her chart. "You still picking Lily up from day care today?"

"Yep."

It wasn't always as easy as this – in fact it isn't always easy now. The four of them being this quasi-family. Especially for Arizona. She felt that it was sometimes like seeing the life you want through a picture window, but there's no way in and life is moving on without you.

When Arizona decided to start dating again, it was less of a conscious decision than a last resort. She had been living in the apartment, in Christina's old room, for over three years; since even before Lily was born. She had devoted herself to being there for Calliope in any capacity and, as it were, that capacity was friends.

It wasn't until Lily was approaching her third birthday that Callie decided to move out. Lily was getting older now and Calliope wanted her to have her own room. In some ways, Callie wanted her own privacy back, too, despite the fact that she'd sworn off dating seemingly for the rest of her life.

Needless to say, her decision was met with a lot of resistance by Arizona and Mark. Of course they understood and even agreed with her reasons. Lily _should_ get to grow up in her own room, not to mention have a yard to play in and some extra space for her toys.

But they had grown accustomed to living in such close proximity. Some nights, especially when Lily was a newborn, Mark would keep a baby monitor on his dresser across the hall so that he could feed her while Callie and Arizona caught up on sleep. When Mark couldn't get her to burp, he'd call one of the women across the hall to help him. And being on-call was that much easier: if one of them was paged, there was usually someone right there to take the baby.

And while the house that Callie found was just down the street, Mark and Arizona both knew that things were going to change.

About a week before the move, Calliope had taken Lily out shopping to buy some new things for her room. The same night, Arizona had taken a woman from the hospital out to dinner. Afterwards, they had come back to the apartment for some coffee. They were sitting at the kitchen bar when Callie and Lily came home.

After Calliope put her down, Lily immediately came running over to Arizona.

**April 2008 **

"_Auntie Zona, guess what! Mommy got me a new conifer for my bed in my new house!"_

"_A new com-fort-er?" she said slowly, enunciating each sound. "She did? That's great!" Arizona said enthusiastically, scooping her up into her lap. _

"_Yeah! What's your name?" Lily asked, noticing Rachel for the first time._

"_My name's Rachel. And what's your name?"_

"_Lily," Lily answered, only at that time she could only pronounce her name as "Lee-ly", which they all thought was adorable._

"_Hey," Callie says cautiously, finally joining the conversation._

"_Calliope, this is Rachel. Rachel, this is Callie."_

"_It's nice to meet you," Rachel says, extending her hand, which Callie hesitantly shook. Rachel's charm bracelet jangled as she returned her arm to her lap and Lily was instantly intrigued._

"_Ooo, I like your base-let," she said, fingering the charms._

"_Thank you," Rachel smiles. _

"_My mommy gived me a base-let like that, you wan' see?" And now Lily is so excited that there's no chance of saying no. She wiggled her way out of Arizona's lap and onto the floor, grabbing Rachel's hand and leading her into her and Callie's bedroom._

_After they're out of earshot, Callie speaks._

"_Who is that?" _

_ "She works in dermatology," Arizona answers._

"_And we're just letting her go with my daughter into my room?" she asks, flabbergasted and clearly unhappy. _

"_Calliope, she's harmless," Arizona says, a bit insulted that Callie would even question her judgment on this._

"_We'll talk about this later," she says curtly. Lily and Rachel come out of the bedroom a minute later, Lily getting a piggy-back ride, and Arizona can tell that this only throws oil on the fire that is already raging for Calliope. _

_Rachel leaves soon after, hugging Arizona goodbye and causing Lily to scream "huggies!" and run over to hug them, too. _

_Later, after they'd put Lily to bed without speaking to one another, Callie stands in the kitchen watching Arizona wash the coffee mugs. For a minute she doesn't say anything and Arizona starts to think she isn't going to. Eventually she blurts out: _

"_So you're dating now?" and she's upset, and she seems upset for even being upset in the first place._

"_I wouldn't exactly say I'm dating; this is my first date in over three years," Arizona answers, drying her hands off on the dish towel and turning to face Callie. _

"_Don't you think we should have talked about it first before you started bringing women into this house?"_

"_So I need your permission, is what you're saying," Arizona shot back. "You know what, Calliope, I live here, too."_

"_Yeah, and the difference is that I have a daughter, and I don't think I want her growing up around this shit."_

"_What shit would that be, Callie?" Arizona asks, cocking her head to the side and daring her to think about what she's really saying. "The fact that they're women?"_

"_Go to hell," she says, shaking her head and walking out of the kitchen._

"_What? Have I hit a nerve?" Arizona asks, following her into the living room._

"_Oh yeah, Arizona, I'm purposefully trying to keep my child away from lesbians."_

"_This has nothing to do with Lily and you know it. But you're hiding behind her because you don't want to admit why you're really upset."_

"_And why am I _really_ upset, Arizona?"she asks, standing akimbo in front of her._

"_Because you were jealous."_

"_Oh please," she scoffs, but Arizona forges on._

"_Because you're mad that Lily was so welcoming to her. Because you're mad that I started dating again."_

"_Don't flatter yourself."_

"_And, you know what? I can't worry about whether you're upset over this. _You_ were the one who decided that you didn't want me in your life in that way. Even though I _begged_ you for another chance at this relationship. Begged you, even though I knew you'd slept with Mark and my heart was fucking _broken_. And even when I accepted the fact that you didn't want to be with me, I had to beg you to be a part of Lily's life! I had to plead with you just to let me be your friend. How long is it gonna take to prove that I'm not going anywhere?" _

_Arizona is exasperated, staring at her, needing to hear an answer though none is forthcoming. She sits down on the couch, drained, putting her face in her hands for a moment. Reigning in her emotions._

"_I just can't do this with you anymore, Calliope, I can't."_

"_Well then I think this move will be good for all of us," she says, her eyes trained on the floor. And hearing this is both shocking and utterly painful. Arizona rolls her eyes to the ceiling, trying to keep the tears at bay. _

_She stands and walks slowly to her bedroom; all that can be heard from the living room is the sound of Arizona's drawers opening and closing as she throws clothes into a duffel bag. As she's grabbing her toothbrush and hair dryer from the bathroom, Calliope appears in the doorway, leaning against the wall. _

"_Where are you going?" she asks quietly, regretfully._

"_I'm going to sleep at Mark's tonight."_

_Arizona brushes past her on her way out of the apartment, closing the front door quietly so as not to wake the baby._


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I just wanted to reassure everyone that I am ABSOLUTELY pro-Callie/Arizona, and that I really do not like the current Mark storyline. So I hope you won't give up on this story too early. That said, I have written the three of them as a pretty cohesive family unit; but the goal is, as always, to see our ladies together.

**April, 2008**

_"Jesus, Mark, I've been looking for this dress forever," Callie said, swiping her arm underneath his bed and coming up with an assortment of Lily's things._

_ It was two nights before the move, and Callie was gathering some of her stray belongings from Mark's. A few days had passed since her fight with Arizona and, while Arizona had begun sleeping in their apartment again, they had hardly spoken since._

_ "Lily was hiding it from you. She hates that dress," Mark said matter-of-factly._

_ "What? My parents sent this dress," Callie defended._

_ "She looks like a mariachi dancer, Cal. Throw that out."_

_ They were interrupted by a cackling from Mark's baby monitor. _

_ "Shit, I hope she's not waking up," Callie said, freezing in place out of habit._

_ "She still having bad dreams?" Mark asked._

_ "A few times a month, I guess," Callie sighed. She knew it was normal for children of this age to have nightmares, but it still wasn't easy watching her daughter cry hysterically for sometimes hours on end out of panic. Lately, Arizona had commandeered nightmare duty; somehow she had found a way to get Lily back to sleep in record time._

_ But instead of an awakening Lily, Callie and Mark were met with the voice of Arizona._

_ "Hey Lil'," she said softly, her voice strained from what sounded like crying. When Lily didn't respond, they knew she was still sleeping._

_ "God, you're getting so big, look at you. I remember the day you were born. You were so tiny! The smallest little fingers…" Arizona sniffled and took a deep breath._

_ "This is wrong," Mark said. "We should turn this off."_

_ "Don't," Callie answered. "Just wait." _

_ They stood on opposite sides of Mark's bed, just staring at the monitor on the dresser._

_ "I'm gonna miss you so much. And I wish you weren't moving; more than anything I wish you weren't moving. But that's just how life is. Things change. Things are changing all the time and sometimes it's really hard. Sometimes you'd do anything to just go back and… have things the way they used to be. _

_ "I'm sorry; I know I'm blubbering here. It's just… I'm losing my girls, you know? And that makes me so sad. But I don't want you to worry. Because I'm _always_ gonna take care of you. You and your mom. I'll never let anything happen to you, never ever. Because even though I was so angry when I found out about you, I wouldn't change a thing about having you in my life. I love you so much, and I want you to know that whatever happens, I'll always love your mom. You are __so__ lucky, Lily. To have her as a mom. So take it easy on her; you know, when you're a teenager._

_ "Now, I'm not always gonna be around anymore, so when you're in the new house I need you to take care of your mama for me. If she ever eats more than two pints of Ben & Jerry's in one sitting then you know – Emergency time, and you gotta call Aunt Zo, okay? I'll be right there, day or night, whenever you need me. One day, when you're older, I'll explain this whole… modern family thing to you." _

_Arizona sighed heavily and was silent. Wordlessly, Callie walked over and switched off the monitor. For a moment neither said a word. No words could possibly convey the sadness of a situation that had been building for years._

"_More than two pints in one sitting?" _

"_I've never done that," Callie said unconvincingly. Marked looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Oh fuck you."_

_ Later that night, after Callie had returned to the apartment, she sat on the living room floor taping boxes closed._

_ Arizona lingered in the doorway of her bedroom, wanting to come to the kitchen for a glass of water but also wanting to avoid the awkwardness that had been lingering between her and Callie over the last few days. It was heartbreaking enough watching Callie pack her things._

_Finally, sighing, Arizona entered the room. She stood at the sink, running the tap until the water felt cold. Filling her glass, she heard Calliope speak out behind her._

"_Would you mind getting me a glass of water?" she said timidly, asking a question that a week ago would have seemed innocuous and not at all out of place. Now, it sounded a bit jaded to Callie's ears and she wondered whether Arizona would laugh in her face for asking a favor._

_But she knew Arizona well enough to know that that was not her nature. _

_Arizona reached up into the cabinet and retrieved another glass; glasses they had picked out together just a few years ago (before the picture of their future together grew hazy, hazy, and dissipated altogether). _

_Arizona walked the glass over to where Calliope was sitting and handed it down to her. As she turned to head back into her bedroom, Callie reached out and grabbed her hand._

"_I'm sorry," Callie said softly. Her eyes were clear and sincere, pained but not by having to make an apology. Try as she might, Arizona could not break the stare between them. _

"_I was being selfish. And I wasn't being fair to you," Callie said, growing silent again. She looked down at their hands, still connected, but made no move to pull away._

_After a turn, Arizona spoke._

"_Do you want some help taping?"_

_Callie smiled. _

**Moving Day**

_"You don't have to do this, you know," Arizona said, getting her things together for work._

_ Arizona, Mark, and Callie had spent much of the day before moving in all of Callie's things. Only a few last boxes remained. Lily was running around the apartment saying goodbye to every little thing._

_ Arizona slung her bag over her shoulder and looked down at her shoes. She and Callie stood facing each other near the door to what would now be only Arizona's apartment._

_ "You could stay," she continued, "and we'll give Lily __my__ room. She can have my room. And I'll just sleep… in your room. Not like in the bed," Arizona rambled. "But maybe on the floor or… Oh! We could get twin beds! I know that's not really classy but—"_

_ "Arizona, slow down," Callie said, taking her hand. "You know we have to go," she added softly._

_ "I don't want you to," Arizona said, wiping her eyes with the tissue she had wrapped around her finger._

_ "Don't cry," Callie sighed, despite her own eyes tearing and the lump forming in her throat. "We're only going down the street."_

_ "It won't be the same. It'll never be the same."_

_ Arizona dug into her bag and pulled out a book, smoothing over the surface before handing it to Callie. _

_ "Here. This is what I read to Lily when she has nightmares. It works. I recorded my voice so that… I don't know. So she feels like I'm there. It's silly, I know…"_

_ "No," Callie stopped her. "This is so thoughtful, Arizona. Thank you," she said sincerely, rubbing her palm over the cover of the book. It was "_All the Ways I Love You".

_ "Okay Mommy, I ready!" Lily yelled, running clumsily toward the door. Her little Dora backpack was perched up high on her shoulders._

_ "Okay, baby. Vamonos," Callie said, looking at Arizona one last time before opening the door._

_ Lily grabbed instinctively onto Arizona's hand._

_ "Vamonos, Aunt Zo," she said gleefully, tugging her towards the hallway. _

_ A look of panic passed over Arizona's face as she looked to Callie for help._

_ "Um… no, baby. Remember, we said just you and Mommy were moving to the new house?"_

_ "But Aunt Zo lives with us, too!" Lily said, exasperated._

_ "Aunt Zona is gonna live here, in the apartment," Callie explained._

_ "You has to come!" Lily cried, wrapping her tiny arms around Arizona's leg and burying her head against her thigh. "Pease, Aunt Zo, pease!"_

_ Arizona's tears were coming faster now with no foreseeable end in sight. Squatting down so that she was at Lily's level, she held onto the crying girl's shoulders._

_ "Hey," she whispered, their tear-streaked faces a mirror image of the other. "It's going to be okay," Arizona promised. "You and Mommy are going to love your new house."_

_ "You come!" Lily demanded, her face red._

_ "I can't come, Lil. I have to stay here. But we can see each other whenever you want, okay? I can come to your house and you can come stay with me anytime, alright? I need you to be a big girl, now. Are you a big girl?"_

_ "Yes," Lily sniffled._

_ "Good," Arizona smiled, mustering a brave face. She pulled Lily into her, hugging her tightly and kissing her hair. "I love you," she whispered, her eyes shut tightly in pain. "I love you."_

_ Two weeks after the move, Lily had her first nightmare in their new home. Her screams woke Callie immediately, despite being in separate rooms for the first time since she was born. Callie knelt beside the small bed and tried to comfort her daughter, who could only repeat: "I scared, Mommy," in that heartbreakingly simple way._

_ She tried softly murmuring to her, rubbing her back, but Lily was inconsolable. Callie began to panic, not knowing what to try next. It had been months since she had talked her daughter down from a bad dream._

_ Callie was on the verge of calling Arizona when she suddenly remembered the book she had given her. It certainly couldn't hurt to try._

_ "Hold on, baby," she whispered, walking over to the bookshelf and finding the right one._

_ Crawling into the tiny bed beside Lily, Callie opened the book. Arizona's sweet voice immediately filled the room. Lily's eyes flashed with recognition and her sob caught in her throat._

"I love you quicker than a minute  
I love you longer than an hour  
I love you like the honey bee loves buzzing 'round the flower

"I love you closer than your shadow  
I love you further than the sun,  
I love you, too, when raindrops fall, one by one by one"

_Lily's tears had subsided to mere whimpers, crying out only when she forgot that she was supposed to be crying. Her eyelids grew heavy, staying closed longer with every blink._

"I love you 'round and 'round the world  
I love you through and through  
And when it seems impossible to love you more… I do."

_As Callie closed the book, she looked down at her daughter lying in her arms – fast asleep._

_ "Fuck," Callie sighed quietly, hugging the book tightly to her chest._


	4. Chapter 4

**Present Day**

"A-ha, thought I might find you in here," Callie said, peeking her head into the laundry room.

Arizona was in the process of adding laundry detergent to Lily's purple sheets.

"Cute," Arizona responded, starting the wash cycle. "You're like the Gestapo, you know."

Callie laughed.

"You wanna stay for dinner?" Callie asked, removing her jacket.

"Sure."

The three girls sat around the dinner table, Lily pushing her food around her plate.

"Don't pick," Arizona said. "Eat."

"I'm all done," Lily said. She had recently entered that stage where eating had become a hindrance to her play time.

"Uh-uh," Callie warned. "Three more bites." Lily pouted and picked up her fork.

"So I forgot to ask, how was your date last night?" Callie asked nonchalantly.

"Ooooh, a date," Lily giggled.

"Yes, a date," Arizona said, poking Lily in the stomach. "It was good, actually. Really good. We had a nice time. Actually I think you might have worked with her today."

"She works at the hospital?" Callie asked, surprised. How could she not have known that?

"Yeah she's the new plastics Fellow. Kate Thompson."

"Oh. Huh," Callie said, occupying herself with the food on her plate. "She's pretty."

"Yeah, she is."

"Si te gustan las chicas flacas."

Arizona looked to Lily discretely, silently asking for translation.

"_If you like skinny girls," _she repeated verbatim.

Arizona raised her eyebrows at Callie, who was raising her eyebrows at Lily.

"You don't have to translate everything I say."

"But how will Aunt Zona know what you're saying?" Lily asked innocently.

"Sometimes she isn't meant to," Callie explained.

Arizona patted Lily's hand. "Don't listen to her. You stick with me, kid."

"Anyway," Callie continued, turning back to Arizona. "How did a pediatric surgeon bump into a doctor from plastics?"

"Oh, Mark set it up actually."

"Mark?" Callie asked, bewildered.

"Yeah. Weird, huh? He didn't do half bad."

"Weird," Callie echoed softly, downing the rest of her wine. "Me recuerdan a tener agradable conversacion larga con su padre," she said to Lily before quickly adding, "Don't repeat that."

The next day, Callie used her key to unlock the door to Mark's apartment. She was dropping Lily off for the night.

"Mark?" she called out. "We're here."

A second later, Mark came walking out of the bedroom. "Hey! There's my girl!" he said, opening his arms as Lily came running over to hug him. "Hey Cal," he added.

"Hello, Judas."

"I'm sorry?"

"You heard me. I know you hooked Arizona up."

"Honey, why don't you go put your bag in your room?" he said to Lily, waiting for her to scamper out of sight. "Yeah, I did set Arizona up. Except I didn't think I was _betraying_ you."

"Really? At all? You didn't consider how that might be upsetting to me?" Callie said, her hand on her hip, trying to keep her voice down so that Lily wouldn't overhear their conversation.

"According to you, you and Arizona are 'just friends'.

"Fuck, Mark…" Callie said, rubbing her face with her hand.

"What is it that you want to teach our daughter, Callie? To be dishonest about her feelings? To run away from love because it's messy and because every once in a while you might actually have to apologize or offer forgiveness?

"Please—" Callie tried to interject.

"No, I mean it. As parents, I think we need to be really clear about the message we want to send to our child, and if this is the message you want, well fine. We're already going down that road, we'll just keep going."

"You know that's not what I want."

"Really? Because it's been six _years_, and I know you're still in love with her. And she's in love with you. She loves you so much that she's settled for friendship all these years just to have you in her life. But she deserves to be happy, too. She's a good person. She stood by you while you had someone else's baby, she's good to my daughter. Hell, she even goes to parent-teacher conferences. And you can't take it out on her that _you_ made the decision not to date. That's your prerogative. So yeah, I set her up."

Callie's eyes welled at the honesty of what Mark was saying. It was the truth, and this truth hurt.

"Look, I'm sorry," Mark said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "But if you aren't going to be honest with her, than you have to let her have this."

**Two weeks later:**

It was a Saturday afternoon and Arizona had just taken Kate out for lunch. It was their third date, which was meant to be a romantic dinner except that it was Arizona's night with Lily.

The café was only a half-mile away from Arizona's and, taking advantage of the warm weather, the women had chosen to walk. Now, they were strolling back to the apartment in comfortable silence until Arizona spoke.

"Thanks for agreeing to push our date up," she said, looking over to Kate.

"Sure," she smiled. "So, tell me what it's like."

"What what's like?" Arizona asked.

"You know, being such a big part of Lily's life. Mark speaks so highly of you – says you've really helped raise her."

"Well, she's a great girl," Arizona said simply. "I'm starting to think that if you work for a living, you kind of need at least three people to raise a baby," she smiled.

"Yeah, I can't imagine."

"By now we've got it pretty much down. It's a lot of scheduling ourselves so that there's always someone around. But I wouldn't change anything. I love Lily like she was my own daughter."

"And you and Callie? You were…?"

"Together, before Lily was born. We separated just before Calliope got pregnant."

"You must have split amicably then, for you to still be such a part of the pregnancy."

"Uh…" Arizona started, weighing her words carefully. Like in all of her other dating experiences of the last few years, Arizona was playing her cards close to the vest. "Not as amicably as you'd think. But Callie was willing to try friendship so, I took what I could get."

Looking over at Kate, Arizona could tell that the cogs were turning; that there were questions she wanted to ask, missing pieces she needed to make sense of this. But this was all Arizona was willing to share.

"So that's that," Arizona said decisively, putting this particular conversation to rest.

"I had a great afternoon with you, Kate," Arizona said as they reached the apartment building.

And she really did have a good day. Kate was smart, engaging, funny. Beautiful. And they had fun together. Arizona felt that, over time, she could really develop feelings for this woman.

"I had a good time, too," Kate smiled shyly. "I just have to come up and get my car keys. I left them on the breakfast bar when you suggested we walk."

"Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. Let's go up," Arizona said, holding the door open for Kate to pass.

As they got to Arizona's floor, Mark poked his head out of his apartment.

"Oh hey, there you are. Hi, Kate," he added. "Callie's here. We wanted to know if you were interested in doing dinner over here before you took Lily for the night."

Inside, Callie's ears pricked at the mention of Kate. Her curiosity piqued, Callie joined Mark at the door.

"Hey!" she said, a little too cheerfully.

"Dr. Torres," Kate greeted.

"Please, call me Callie," she said, trying to act as cordially and unaffected as humanly possible. "So, dinner?" she directed to Arizona.

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Kate, you should stay too. We're making plenty."

Arizona shot Callie a '_what are you doing?' _look. Callie gave her an innocent shrug before looking back to Kate expectantly.

"Um… Yeah, sure. That'd be nice."

"Great," Callie clapped.

Mark threw Arizona a tight-lipped smile of comradeship.

"Well, it's only 2:30 so Kate and I are just gonna hang out across the hall until dinner."

"No!" Callie yelled, a knee-jerk reaction to the thought of Arizona and another woman spending time alone near a bed or a couch or a floor. "I mean… Lily has been asking for you all day. Poor kid's just sitting there watching Finding Nemo all by herself."

"Oh," Arizona said, not knowing if Callie was telling the truth but not being able to deny her anyway.

"Come in, come in," Callie ushered.

Kate and Mark were the last to go in. Kate tugged his arm discretely.

"Am I missing something?" she whispered.

"Not any more than the rest of us."


	5. Chapter 5

While Mark started dinner, Arizona and Kate took a seat on the couch, Lily snuggling up on Arizona's lap.

Callie lurked in the vicinity, trying to make herself look busy. She watched as Kate threaded her fingers through Arizona's fingers, bringing them to rest on her lap. Her gag reflex felt momentarily tickled as she saw Arizona's dimples make an appearance in response. And now all Callie could think about was whether or not they had slept together.

"Are you Aunt Zo's date?" Lily asked boldly, turning to sit sideways on Arizona's lap.

"Yep, I am," Kate said, smiling at the little girl.

"You're skinny," Lily giggled.

Arizona's eyes went wide, snapping her head towards Callie who was quite clearly listening at this point.

"Lily! Si mama dice que no traducen para Tia Zo, eso significa que no se traducen por sus fechas tampoco. Di que lo sientes."

"Sorry," Lily said bashfully.

"It's okay," Kate laughed. "There are worse things to be called."

"Are there?" Callie blurted. When Arizona shot her an incredulous look, she added, "I'm kidding. I'm _kidding_."

Turning back to the task she was pretending to do, Callie mumbled, "Como un esqueleto. Mujeres de verdad tienen curvas."

Arizona stood abruptly, needing to put an end to this awkward situation.

"Oh Callie, I almost forgot! I wanted to go over our schedules for next week. Can you come into the bedroom for a second?" Arizona asked, placing Lily down on the couch.

"Yeah, I should probably give you my schedule, too," Mark said, wiping his hands on a towel and starting to head towards the bedroom.

"Nope, I already know yours, thanks," Arizona said, closing the door abruptly behind her and Callie.

"What are you doing?" she hissed at Callie.

"I don't know what you mean," Callie said, feigning ignorance.

"Oh please. It's not like I haven't picked up on _any _Spanish over the years. 'Real women have curves'? I've only heard you say that a million times."

"Really? I thought you only understood Spanish if it was whispered in your ear," Callie said, causing a blush to creep up Arizona's neck. She looked down sheepishly.

"I might have given a little more priority to looking those up…"

"Are you blushing?" Callie asked coyly. Her legs, of their own accord, carried her over to Arizona. It had been such a long time since Callie had given her a look of such longing so intentionally. So unabashedly.

And while Arizona knew this shouldn't be happening, not here, not now, not with a date in the other room, she was powerless to stop it. And she knew Callie knew that.

"Why are you doing this?" Arizona rasped as Callie leaned her lips in close to her ear.

"No se, pero me parece que no puede dejar de…"

Arizona closed her eyes at the feel of Callie's breath against her ear, her cheek, her neck.

As fast as it began, it was over and Callie was backing away. The reality of what she had just done washed over her face in a mask of guilt. The behaviors that she had spent years teaching herself were no longer appropriate had just surfaced, and that wasn't okay.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, wide-eyed.

Arizona's eyes slowly opened and she met Callie's gaze. Her mind was reeling from the implications of what had just happened. What did it mean? Did it mean anything at all? She had known that Callie was a little jealous, but she wouldn't be so cruel as to lead her on because of it. Would she?

"Fuck," Callie said, covering her lips with her hand. "I'm sorry." With that, Callie turned and walked out of the bedroom.

Arizona remained frozen in place for another moment before frantically searching for a scrap piece of paper on Mark's dresser. She quickly scribbled down the words that had been playing like a mantra in her mind.

"…_pero me parece que no puede dejar de," _she quietly repeated, slipping the paper into her pocket. This, like every other whispered word she'd heard pour from Callie's lips, she'd have to look up later.

.

Despite feeling hypnotized by Callie for the rest of the afternoon (which was in no way a foreign feeling to her), by dinner time her feelings had diverged into anger. Over the last six years she had painstakingly gone through all five stages of grief over the loss of their relationship, and now this? One hungry look from Callie could send her back to square one.

And it wasn't as if they hadn't had any close calls over the years. They were only human, and both women had to occasionally check their behavior before it bordered on inappropriate. This, of course, was heightened by such variables as alcohol, a racy scene in a movie, or any outfit that showed just an extra bit of skin.

But this seemed different. It _was _different, because Arizona had finally met someone she might actually like. Different, because Callie had looked horrified afterward – and her apology could only mean that she felt it was a mistake. _Well, that's a pretty big mistake to make_ _at my expense_, Arizona thought.

And now she felt full-blown indignation, which was hard to contain sitting in such close proximity to her antagonist.

Luckily for Arizona, Lily kept the conversation focused on her, soaking up all the attention she was receiving.

Callie seemed just as distracted as Arizona felt, only briefly participating in the conversation. When she did speak it was seemingly only to ask Kate interrogating questions about her life.

"You two seem to be getting pretty cozy," Callie said, with a calculated air of indifference. Kate smiled over at Arizona, proudly.

"Yeah, I'd say we are," she said. "One night this week Arizona's cooking for me. Isn't she romantic?" Kate asked, oblivious to the tension emanating around the table.

"I wouldn't risk it," Callie scoffed, despite how much Arizona's cooking had improved since Lily was born. "Just go out to eat."

"Actually, we wanted to… stay in," Kate said, blushing a bit. Callie looked over at Arizona for some sort of confirmation that she had plans to sleep with this woman. But Arizona wouldn't meet her gaze.

"So what about you, Callie? Are you dating?" Kate asked, and (poor girl), she really did ask innocently.

"Yes, Callie," Arizona said, slapping her palm on the table loudly. "What _is_ your deal?"

"Uh," Callie's brow furrowed, her eyes darting from Kate to Arizona and back again. "No, Kate, I'm not dating. I've decided not to. Not since Lily was born."

"Wow. Well, that's admirable," Kate said. "That must feel pretty empowering."

"Yeah, sometimes it does."

"What about the rest of the time?" Arizona asked pointedly. "Probably feels pretty lonely, doesn't it?" She was so angry at Callie for being selfish enough to come on to her, knowing how hard it would be for Arizona to take. That said, she _was _being a little harsh.

"Yes, Arizona, it does. Thank you for pointing that out," Callie said, dropping her fork onto her plate.

"Who wants more wine?" Mark asked loudly.

"Me!" Lily yelled, happy for a reprieve from the tension.

"You?" Mark answered. "No way, Jose. But let's have this conversation again in 30 years."

.

After cleaning up the dishes, Arizona retrieved Kate's keys from her apartment and then walked her to the door.

"I'm sorry about dinner. That was uncomfortable," she said, shutting the door behind them so they were alone in the hallway. "Sometimes Callie and I… we butt heads."

"I understand," Kate said. "It's like any parents I guess," she shrugged.

Arizona smiled sadly, knowing that it wasn't their parenting relationship that created conflict. For the first time since she had started dating after Callie, she felt bad for dragging someone into a confusing and potentially unresolved situation.

"There's a lot of history there. I get that," Kate added knowingly.

"That history's never going to go away," Arizona said apologetically.

"History never does. But I still want to see you again, if you want to see me. Let me know about this week," she said, leaning in to kiss Arizona on the cheek before walking away.


	6. Chapter 6

A half hour after Kate had made her departure, Arizona had changed for bed and was giving Lily a bath. The pasta sauce from dinner inexplicably covered 75% of her body. Lily was as difficult to bathe at five as she was at two. She loved being in the water; she generally used bath time as an opportunity to practice her swimming.

"Wait, Lily. Stay still so I can get this sauce off your back. How did you even get it back here?"

"I don't know!" Lily laughed, kicking her legs as if she were a mermaid. "Watch!"

"No splashing! No spla—". _Whoosh. _Arizona looked to the ceiling trying to keep her composure, water dripping off her chin from the wave of water that had just sloshed over the side of the tub. Looking down at her soaked clothing, Arizona shot Lily a telling look.

"Sorry Aunt Zona," Lily said; her puppy dog eyes 100% effective, as always.

When the front door clicked open a minute later, Arizona knew it could only be one of two people.

"Arizona?" Callie called.

"In the tub, Mommy!" Lily called.

Callie put her purse down on the couch and headed towards the bathroom, stopping in the doorway. Arizona's entire front was soaked through as Lily sat happily in the bathtub.

"Hey. Wow. This looks like quite a bath you two are having," Callie said.

When Arizona didn't respond, Callie forged ahead.

"I was hoping we could talk about tonight," she said. Arizona, still kneeling on the floor, rung out the wash cloth and wiped her forehead with the back of her hand. She turned to face Callie.

"Right now?" she asked.

Callie immediately became aware of just how transparent Arizona's shirt had become. Her eyes immediately latched onto Arizona's chest.

"N— Uh… Not… right this second," Callie fumbled, still staring. Following Callie's line of vision to see what the problem was, Arizona realized that she was giving quite a show. She quickly used her arm to cover herself.

"Jesus!" Arizona exclaimed. "It's like a wet t-shirt contest," she said, standing.

"I wanna be in the wet t-shirt contest!" Lily said excitedly.

"Never, ever repeat that," Callie said.

"I'm gonna change," Arizona said, exiting the bathroom.

"Play with your toys, Lily, I'll be right back. No splashing," Callie warned, following Arizona into the bedroom. When she entered, Arizona was rifling through her drawer for another shirt.

"Where's your bra?" Callie hissed, flabbergasted.

"I'm ready for bed!" Arizona defended, squaring off with Callie again. Through the thin, white material of the shirt, Callie could see Arizona's nipples straining against the fabric from the cold. The shirt clung to her, showing the contours of her breasts and cleavage. It was the most turned on Callie could remember being in a long time.

The same could be said of Arizona. Being looked at in this way, however inappropriate, was enough to make her crazy with want.

Thinking back to earlier and the way that Callie had pushed their limits, Arizona made a move towards the Latina.

"Don't tell me this is turning you on," Arizona said smugly, backing Callie into the wall. She stopped just inches from her.

"How… how could it not?" Callie asked, looking down at the hard nipples nearly pressed against her. She hesitantly placed a hand on Arizona's hip and started sliding it upwards; it was about this time that Arizona realized that her plan might backfire. She placed her hand on Callie's, stopping its progress. Peeling it off her body, she pinned Callie's arm back over their heads and held it there.

"I forgot how seeing me _wet_ used to make you so hot," Arizona rasped. Callie tried to catch her moan before it escaped. She felt her knees starting to give out, and then the feel of Arizona's hips pinning her to the wall, keeping her upright.

Arizona ran her free hand over Callie's hips and over her ass, grabbing the flesh there tightly. Callie's moan was audible this time, her pelvis pushing forward against Arizona's roughly.

"Is this what you want?" Arizona asked.

"Yessss," Callie said on a long exhale, her eyes closed.

Arizona leaned in so that her lips were just millimeters from Callie's.

"Then it is _really_ gonna hurt… when I walk away… and you realize that I've been leading you on," she whispered. Callie's eyes snapped open as Arizona pushed away from her, grabbing a dry t-shirt and leaving the bedroom.

Callie stood against the wall, speechless, her mouth open. Finally regaining her senses, she swung open the bedroom door and found Arizona, changed and in the bathroom drying Lily off with a towel.

"Is that what you think I was doing? Leading you on?" she asked angrily.

"Lily, go pick out your PJs," Arizona said calmly. When she was out of the bathroom, Arizona stood. "That's exactly what you were doing and you know it."

"So you think that I'm just so heartless? That I would have no regard for your feelings at all?"

"I think you're incredibly selfish, yes," Arizona answered, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Selfish!" Callie yelled.

"The fact that you're even surprised by that _proves_ that you're selfish."

"Please, Arizona, enlighten me. How is it that I'm _so_ selfish?" Both women were yelling loudly now.

"How dare you make me think, even for _one_ _minute_, that you feel the same about me as I feel about you? You've spent the last six years telling me that you don't want to be with me. So _I've_ spent the last six years trying to get over you; spent the last six years _failing_ at getting over you. And now that there's actually somebody in my life that I might actually like, you're going to ruin it for me. Because even though you don't want to be with me, you don't want me to be with anyone else. _That's _selfish."

"Excuse me," Mark said, standing outside the bathroom with Lily in his arms, still in her towel. "Why did my five-year-old daughter just show up on my doorstep naked?" he asked.

"Lily," Callie chastised. "You know better than to the leave the apartment! You could have gotten hurt!"

"You were yelling," Lily said.

"Mark, I'm so sorry," Arizona said, feeling extremely irresponsible. "I thought she was in her room."

Mark looked less than impressed by their disregard for the little girl. "What's going on?" he asked, looking from one woman to the other.

Callie shook her head, looking down. Arizona wiped the tear that had begun sliding down her cheek.

Mark sighed aloud.

"Just… figure this out. I'm gonna take Lily for the night. I think that's best."

Neither woman could argue with that.


	7. Chapter 7

Once Mark had taken Lily back next door, Arizona and Callie stood near the kitchen saying nothing. Callie opened her mouth and closed it a few times before actually speaking.

"So, wait…" Callie she started, putting her finger up to her lips thoughtfully. "You're _not…_ over me?"

Arizona sighed, not surprised that _that _was what Callie had taken away from the conversation.

"How can you even ask me that?" Arizona asked. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"It's not that simple anymore, Arizona. There are other people involved. Lily is such a huge part of your life and I know you would never walk away from that. That alone makes it very unclear who you're staying around for."

"I've stayed for _both _of you. I can't just snap my fingers and fall out of love with you, Calliope. Not like you did."

"God, that's _not_…" Callie said, flustered. "That is not what I did."

"Just be honest with me, Calliope! You moved on a long time ago."

"What about you?" Callie shot back. "You've been dating long enough now for me to assume that _you've_ moved on."

"No – You don't get to use dating as your argument, because the only reason you're not is for Lily's sake."

"Jesus, are you really that thick? I don't date because I don't want to be with anybody but _you_. But I can't be with you because I've spent all this time trying to prove a point about how you left and about how that's not acceptable."

"So we haven't been together all these years because you were trying to _prove a point?"_Arizona yelled.

"I was _trying_ to stand up for myself! Do you know how many people have left me? And not just plain broke up with me, but _cheated _on me, or fell off the face of the earth to get away from me. I'm tired of being pathetic."

"And you starting enforcing that policy _NOW?_" Arizona asked. "So you weren't just punishing me for what _I _did, you were making me take the fall for every one of your exes. Well here's a news flash for you, Calliope: I'm not like those other assholes. I _came back. _But apparently that counts for nothing. For all you care, I should have just fucking _stayed _in Africa."

Callie's eyes instantly welled with tears.

"Don't say that," she said, her voice shaking.

And even though Callie was clearly getting upset, Arizona was on a roll.

"Would you have even _cared?_ If I hadn't come home? Do you wish that I'd just stayed gone?" Arizona yelled.

"No. _NO_," Callie cried, her voice strangled. She was hunched over at the waist in the kind of pain that bends you in half. Her breath was coming fast and uneven. Arizona was startled out of her anger at the sight of her Calliope like this.

"Hey," she whispered, placing a hand on Callie's shoulder. "Hey, come on. You're going to hyperventilate, Calliope, breathe." Arizona led her over to the couch, sitting her down. Callie sat with her elbows on her knees, face in her hands, as Arizona rubbed her back in slow circles.

"Breathe," Arizona repeated softly, her face pressed to the side of Callie's.

"I… I can't," Callie choked, unable to control her body's response. Arizona pulled Callie's face from her hands and replaced them with her own. She turned Callie to look at her.

"Calliope, you have to breathe," she said with purpose, brushing her thumbs against Callie's cheeks. "Look at me."

Callie tried to inhale deeply and choked on the first breath. Eventually she was able to mirror Arizona, who was walking her through it.

"Good, good," Arizona murmured, combing her hand back through Callie's short hair. "I'm gonna get you some water, okay? Just relax," she said, standing from the couch.

She returned a moment later with a glass of water and some tissues, which Callie received with shaky hands.

"Okay?" Arizona asked, fingering the hair at the back of Callie's neck.

"Yeah," she said meekly. "Thank you."

"What's going on?" Arizona asked quietly, shocked by Callie's sudden breakdown.

Callie sighed raggedly, dabbing at her eyes.

"I don't know, I guess… it was just hard to hear that."

"Hear what?"

"You talking about… not coming back."

"But I did, sweetie," Arizona comforted, meeting Callie's eyes. "I'm right here."

"My biggest fear, all this time… has been that you secretly regret coming home. That, I don't know. You lay in bed at night and think, 'I came home for _this?_' Because as hard a time as I give you, I can't imagine what it would have been like without you." Callie answered honestly.

"I don't regret it, Calliope," Arizona said clearly, almost forcefully. "I've never once, in all these years, wished that I hadn't come back. I have to be near you, I _have_ to be in your life, regardless of my role in it. And I'm sorry I didn't realize that a couple months sooner. But maybe I wouldn't have realized it at all, if I hadn't gone to Africa."

The women sat in silence for a moment, letting that information sink in.

"Thank you," Callie finally said. "For coming back for me."

"That's the first time you've ever said that to me," Arizona said, giving a small smile.

"Then I am very, very late." Swallowing her pride, she took Arizona's hand into her own. "I'm still in love with you, Arizona," she said softly.

Arizona's eyes began tearing; the irony of this situation was not lost on her. For so long she had dreamed of hearing these word, had imagined the day when Callie would come back to her. And yet it felt a bit bittersweet.

"Calliope," she started. "You have no idea how long I held onto hope for. Years and years I let myself believe that someday you'd change your mind about us. But…" she sighed, pulling her hand out of Callie's grasp. "Eventually I had to let that hope go. I had to convince myself that all we could ever be was friends. And that was really hard. But I did it, because waiting for something that was never going to happen was _killing _me. I've gotten used to loving you at arm's length."

"Maybe you don't have to anymore," Callie said. "Maybe we can try to—"

"Callie," Arizona interrupted. "Don't… Don't offer me something you aren't prepared to give me."

"I'm not saying that we can just snap our fingers and things will go back to how they used to be, but… if we just go slow, if we take our time…"

Arizona shook her head sadly.

"I love you and you love me and I think we should at least _try,_" Callie said.

"I'm sorry, Calliope. I'm just having a really hard time wrapping me head around this. I need some time to think. I need to sleep on it, okay?" she asked, standing from the couch. Without another word, she disappeared into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Callie, stunned into submission, sat frozen on the couch for another five minutes. Finally, heaving a heavy sigh, she stood and made her way home.

Curled up on the bed with a tear-stained face, Arizona heard the click of the front door.

.

Arizona was scared, that much is certain. Scared of losing the life she had worked so hard to build and maintain; scared of losing control over her emotions again. If she had learned anything over the years, it was that Callie had the ability to completely dismantle her. To so completely blind her by love that she could not make heads or tails of anything, let alone her own life.

Arizona didn't think anyone understood the struggle she'd been through, trying to accept her friendship with Callie. For the first few years after returning from Malawi, Arizona let herself believe, perhaps foolishly, that she could win Callie back. That old optimist in her (the optimist that no longer truly existed) compelled her to keep trying, to keep being present and wait for the inevitable day that Callie would get over her anger and come back to her.

Except after a while Arizona was forced to recognize that Callie no longer seemed angry at all. Worse, she was _content_; content with their friendship. It was what she wanted, what she preferred, over a life in which Arizona was her lover. And it was this realization that sent Arizona on the path to acceptance.

Make no mistake about it, this path was far more difficult to survive than the haze of hopefulness she had previously been through. This path of acceptance provided no illusions or 'what ifs', but rather only the cold hard truth: that they could never be together.

But, alas, Arizona had found the light at the end of the tunnel. It had taken a few years, but she had been able to teach herself that friendship with Callie could be both meaningful and fulfilling. That it could be enough. These were her new truths.

And now Callie was threatening the very foundation of these truths; was pushing against this wall with all her might, daring it to tip.

Callie was right about one thing: it _wasn't_ simple anymore. The well-being of a five-year-old hung in the balance. Who were they to destroy her stability? Being selfish just wasn't an option any longer.

Aside from this, Arizona was absolutely certain that she could not live through losing Callie again.

Kate was merely a catalyst; the factor that had started the wheels spinning. Arizona liked her, she really did. But between Kate and Callie, there was hardly a competition. What bothered Arizona was the thought that Callie's change of heart was triggered by Katie's presence in her life. Sure, Arizona had dated before – but never seriously. Not since Callie had Arizona met someone that she really _wanted _to spend more time with. But she did feel that way about Kate.

Was Arizona's first reaction to run straight into Callie's arms? Of course. But she had to be rational, had to listen to her gut when it told her to proceed with caution. She couldn't just freely hand her heart over to the one person who had the power to absolutely break her. Devastation had become the major motif of her life.

And so Arizona did the only thing she _could _do: Avoid.


	8. Chapter 8

Arizona had managed to avoid Callie for three whole days, which was no small feat.

On the third day, Callie spotted her at a nurse's station and made a beeline towards her. Getting closer, Callie noticed that Kate was also standing there and the two were talking, laughing even. Angry and a little insulted, Callie marched over anyway.

"Excuse me," she said, inserting herself into the conversation. Arizona's smile fell from her face like a balloon deflating.

"Good morning, Dr. Torres," Kate said cheerfully.

"Morning," Callie responded curtly. "Arizona, I need a word with you."

"Um, okay," Arizona said uneasily, knowing it was time to face the music. "I'll see you later, okay Kate?"

"Sure. 7:30, right?" she asked.

"Uh… yep," she said, keeping her eyes down so that she wouldn't have to face Callie.

After Kate had walked away, Callie led Arizona to the nearest on-call room and shut them inside.

"You've been avoiding me," Callie said, her back to the door effectively blocking it.

Arizona shoved her hands into the pockets of her lab coat nervously.

"I've been thinking," Arizona clarified.

"You said you needed to sleep on it – I didn't think that meant you were going to completely ignore me," Callie said, crossing her arms over her chest. "And what's this about 7:30?" she couldn't help adding.

"It's just dinner," Arizona sighed.

"Dinner? _The_ dinner?" Callie asked, dismayed.

"What dinner are you talking about?" Arizona asked, feigning confusion.

"The dinner _before_ the first-time sex," Callie barked.

"I'm not talking about this with you," Arizona said.

"Because I'm right, aren't I?"

"_Callie,_" Arizona warned.

"Well can you at least talk to me about _us_? I mean, have you come to any sort of conclusion?"

Arizona walked over to one of the beds, sitting heavily. "No conclusions," she said sadly.

"I'm sorry, I just don't see how this decision could be so difficult. You said you love me…"

"I _do_ love you, Calliope. I just have a hard time believing you when you say you love _me._"

"What?"

"If you _really_ loved me, how the _fuck_ could you live with yourself for 6 years?" Arizona said, growing angry. "I know exactly how hard it is to be so close to the woman you love, so close you can touch her – except you _can't _touch her, because she doesn't want you. I know how fucking impossible that is. If you loved me, no amount of will power could have kept you away for that long."

"You have no idea what I went through, so _don't_ tell me how I felt," Callie yelled back, walking further into the room.

"And frankly, I just find your timing to be _remarkably _ironic. I meet someone and _now_ you love me? Well I don't trust that. As soon as you get me to yourself you'll just drop this little plan and pull the 'let's be friends' act again."

"In case you've forgotten, this isn't the first woman you've dated. Not by a long shot. And is it so impossible to believe that maybe I'm being sincere? Is it so fucking hard for you to imagine that I'm not out to hurt you?"

"Uh, a little bit, yes!" Arizona said sarcastically. "And yes, I've been dating. But this is different, and I know you see that."

.

The yelling from inside the on-call room had drawn some attention out in the hallway. Cristina, who happened to be walking by, asked one of the lurking interns what was going on (before threatening them all away). She paged Mark 911.

.

"Then just fucking be with her!" Callie screamed, tears running down her face. "I thought this is what you wanted!"

It _was_ what I wanted! But you didn't want _me_! And I had to change my whole life to accept that. Am I happy? No, I'm not happy! But we've learned how to raise Lily together, and we're doing it so well. I'm not gonna risk my relationship with Lily when I know full well that you're capable of completely ostracizing me from your life!"

"I didn't _have _to ostracize you! You left all by yourself!" Callie shouted.

.

"Yang?" Mark asked, thoroughly confused, as he met Cristina at the top of the steps.

"Yeah, look your wives are fighting and it's getting ugly."

"What? Where?" Mark asked, already walking.

"On-call room 3," she called after him.

.

"So what, are you just gonna sleep with her tonight? Are you just gonna make her a nice romantic meal with nice romantic candles before your nice romantic _fuck?" _Callie yelled.

Mark burst through the door, quickly shutting it.

"Whoa, hey…" he said, snapping their attention towards him. "What the hell is going on?"

Arizona sat sobbing into her hands while Callie stood, haphazardly swiping at her wet face, and Mark felt extremely unsettled. He approached cautiously, speaking quietly.

"What's going on?" he asked again.

Neither answered.

"I can't comfort you both at one time if you aren't talking. I don't… know what to do," he said honestly. "Tell me what to do."

"I need to go," Arizona said, standing. "You can comfort her." She used the sleeve of her jacket to dry her face yet it was unmistakable that she had been crying. She made her way to the door but was stopped by Callie's hand on her arm.

Looking into Callie's eyes, she no longer saw the look of anger that was present a moment ago, but rather fear.

Callie's voice was soft and pleading when she said, "Please don't sleep with her."

Arizona looked down.

"Please," Callie begged. "You said you're unhappy. _We _could be happy. _Please_."

Arizona gently extricated herself from Callie's grip and exited the room.

Mark was right behind Callie, catching her as her knees gave way under the unimaginable heaviness of sorrow.

.

"Why is Mommy crying?" Lily asked Mark, her big brown eyes wide and concerned.

Mark had brought Callie to her house shortly after the incident at the hospital. She was curled up in the fetal position on her bed, unable to stop crying. Mark was trying his hardest to shield their daughter from Callie's sadness, but she was very perceptive.

"Mommy's sad, baby," Mark explained, crouching down so that he was at eye level with his daughter.

"Well how can we cheer her up? Aunt Zona usually cheers up her, we can call her," she suggested.

Mark smiled forlornly.

"Sometimes people just have to be sad for a little while. Your Mom will be okay again soon, don't worry."

.

An hour later, Lily fell asleep against Mark's chest watching Toy Story 3. After carrying her to her bed, Mark slipped into Callie's room. At the absence of her choking sobs, Mark thought she had fallen asleep. Creeping around the bed to the side she was facing, he saw that she was, in fact, awake. Her face was streaked with tears, tears that continued to roll soundlessly down her cheeks.

"Hey," Mark said quietly, taking a seat on the edge of the bed near Callie's body.

Callie felt too drained to respond, merely blinking in acknowledgment.

"Lily's napping. I just thought I'd come and check on you. Are you ready to talk about it?" he asked tenderly, picking the hair off her face that had been temporarily glued down with tears.

"I'm such a fool," Callie cried, the act of speaking bringing on a fresh round of tears. "I really thought she wanted me. I thought she wanted to be with me. God, I was such an idiot!"

"Arizona loves you, Cal," Mark said soothingly.

"She doesn't want to be with me." Callie rubbed her face against her already wet pillow trying to wipe her tears. "She loves me but I'm too late."

Mark sat silently. He didn't know what was going on, and he didn't want to reassure Callie of something that he didn't know to be true.

"All this time… I've just been taking her for granted," Callie laughed mirthlessly. "Just, expecting her to be there. As if what she did was so much worse than what I did. And I thought… it's best for us to not get involved. It's _easier_ to just stay friends. Even though I loved her and I could see that I was hurting her… I was punishing her…" Callie said, her chest heaving with tears.

"Okay," Mark said comfortingly, agreeingly. "It's okay."

"It's not," Callie yelled vehemently. "It's not, Mark." Callie fell silent again, subduing herself after her outburst. "What am I going to do?" she whispered.

"Callie... I hate to ask this, but – do you think this has _anything_ to do with her seeing Kate?" Mark asked hesitantly.

"I know how it looks. I know my timing is terrible. But this has nothing to do with me not wanting her to be with Kate. Which I don't," she conceded. "But it isn't about that. It's about how for one _minute_ the other day I got to be close to her. And for once we weren't pretending to be just friends. For once we were just those same two people who fell head over heels for each other in a bar bathroom. And maybe Kate played a part in giving us that minute…. But she didn't create that chemistry. She didn't make those memories."

Mark sighed, holding Callie's hands in his own. This was the mother of his child, his best friend, and he hated to see her hurting. But he loved Arizona, too. And the last time he could remember seeing either of them truly happy was when they were together.

"Then I think you should fight for her," he said.

"She's gonna sleep with her," Callie said, new tears forming at the thought. "Tonight, Arizona's gonna sleep with her."

"You don't know that."

"I overhead them talking about it, Mark," she sobbed. "The woman I love is going to be making love to someone else". And even though they weren't together, it absolutely killed her. And she knew exactly how Arizona must have felt.

"I'm sorry," Mark said softly, stroking her hair. "I'm so sorry," he said, holding her as she cried.

.

_Knock, knock, knock_

"Shit," Arizona cursed, turning down the stove burner so that she could answer the door. She grabbed a towel, wiping her hands on the way. She was preparing dinner for her date with Kate, but it was still two hours too early for her to be there.

Swinging open the door, she was met with Mark.

"Hey," she said, relieved that it wasn't Kate yet. She stepped aside to let Mark in.

"Hey," he said, following the blonde into the kitchen. Arizona turned the burner back up, stirring the contents of the pot before turning back to him.

"What's up?" she asked nonchalantly, as if the earlier on-call room fight hadn't happened at all. Mark knew Arizona well enough to know her tendency to stuff her feelings down.

"Just came from Callie's," he said, studying Arizona carefully.

Arizona looked away quickly, training her eyes on the ground.

"Oh," she said. "How is she?"

"Inconsolable," Mark replied honestly.

Arizona's blue eyes met Mark's and he could instantly see the concern there.

"So, you're really gonna go through with this with Kate, aren't you?" he asked sadly, nodding towards the stove.

"I really hope that's not what you came here for, Mark," she said, shaking her head. "Really, this day's been hard enough already."

"Look, I _really _don't want to get involved in this. Trust me, I don't."

"Then don't," Arizona said firmly. "Don't, Mark."

"You know how hard I try to be bipartisan when it comes to the two of you. And let me tell you, it isn't always easy."

"Well you've clearly picked your side on this one. Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

"That's not true," Mark defended.

"Oh please! I can practically _feel _you judging me."

"I'm _not_ judging you. I'm just confused."

"What is there to be confused about?" Arizona asked.

"The person you love tells you that she loves you, too; and yet here you are, getting ready to fuck someone else?"

"You are the _last _person in the world who I'd expect to be confused by that," Arizona jabbed.

"Ouch," Mark answered, a look of hurt crossing his face.

"Fuck," Arizona said, rubbing her forehead. "I'm sorry."

"No, you're not wrong. And any other time I'd be encouraging you to absolutely go for it. You know I would; I already have. But… don't you remember all those nights that I sat up with you while you cried over Callie? When you told me you'd give anything if you could just have one more chance?"

"Of course I remember. But I also remember her pushing me away and pushing me away no matter how hard I tried or how much I loved her. I remember how much that hurt and how long it took me to _stop _crying myself to sleep at night. And I _never _want to go through that again."

"She's really torn up about this, Robbins. I really don't think she would do that to you again. She wants to give it an honest shot."

"It isn't always about her! I'm not going to worry and make myself sick over whether she's upset right now, or if she's sorry, or if she's crying…" Arizona trailed off, betraying the fact that she was actually already worried about those things. "I'm not. For the first time in a long time, I'm going to think about myself. Do what's best for _me. _Don't you think I deserve that?"

"Of course you do," Mark sighed, knowing that she had a point.

"I'm sorry, it's just…. Everything has kind of built up and finally come to a head for me. And I guess I'm– I'm _angry _at her," she said, the realization that she was mad at Callie finally dawning on her.

"I know," Mark said sympathetically. "I'm here because I don't want you to do anything out of anger. If this whole thing's about getting back at her… find another way," he pleaded.

"That's not what why I'm doing this," Arizona said, trying to sound convincing despite not being entirely convinced herself.

"Alright," Mark said, knowing that it wasn't fair of him to go any further. "Then I'll see you tomorrow."

"Wait. Mark?" Arizona said, halting his progress to the door. "Maybe you should stay with Callie tonight. Just in case she needs…" she shrugged.

"Okay," Mark nodded knowingly. Because despite Arizona claiming not to worry, he knew she always would.


	9. Chapter 9

"I was kind of surprised when you invited me over tonight," Kate said, taking a sip of her wine. She and Arizona were sitting around the table despite having finished eating. Neither particularly felt like doing the dishes.

"Why's that?" Arizona asked, sitting back in her chair.

"With everything going on with you and Callie, I just thought… I don't know. I thought we'd stop seeing each other."

Arizona instantly stiffened at the mention of Calliope.

"I don't want to talk about Callie tonight, okay?" she asked, gathering their plates and walking them over to the sink.

"No, hey," Kate started remorsefully, knowing that she had struck a chord. "That's fine with me," she said, standing to meet Arizona in the kitchen. "I'm sorry I said anything," she said softly.

"It's okay," Arizona said, forcing a smile. "Why don't you go pour us some wine and relax on the couch while I finish these dishes?"

"I'll help," Kate offered, grabbing the dish towel.

"No really," Arizona said. "I'll just be a few minutes. I insist." In actuality she knew she would need a few minutes to pull herself together.

Dinner had gone smoothly so far. Their conversation had flowed just as easily as it always had. And she had tried to keep thoughts of Calliope to a bare minimum, but the recent mention of her had made it that much harder.

.

After loading the dishwasher, Arizona had taken a deep breath and joined Kate on the couch. The two had been sharing stories, making each other laugh, their earlier discomfort wiped clean. Not to mention the slight tingle the wine had created, setting their brains abuzz.

Kate laid her head against the back of the couch, her legs crossed and her wine glass resting atop her lap. She looked over at Arizona, still smiling from the last thing the blonde had said that made her chuckle.

"This has been such a relaxing evening," she said, getting a good look at Arizona.

"Relaxing?" Arizona asked. "You make it sound like I've been boring you," she said coyly.

"Do I look bored?" Kate asked lasciviously, her finger tracing down Arizona's jaw line.

Arizona's breath caught in her throat as Kate placed both their glasses down on the coffee table and drew in closer to her. Her body melded into the couch as Kate leaned over her, seeking out her lips and kissing them tenderly.

It started out slow and gentle, Kate's hand lying softly against Arizona's hip. Arizona, however, could not help the surge of arousal that coursed through her. She reeled Kate into her by the back of the neck, intensifying their kissing, her tongue making its way inside her mouth. She felt Kate's hand tighten its grip on her side.

After a few moments of heated kisses, Kate's hands found their way to the front of Arizona's blazer, roughly pushing it off her shoulders. Arizona leaned forward, helping her to remove it, before she felt Kate's hand making its way underneath her shirt. She felt a firm hand seek out her breast and begin kneading it over her bra – Not a confident grasp, like Callie's. It was more… insistent. Unsure. Excitable.

But now she was thinking of Callie again, and the nails raking over her cleavage started to make her feel a bit uncomfortable. Arizona knew that she needed to take control of this situation, if anything to keep her mind occupied on something other than Calliope.

Pushing Kate over onto her back, Arizona spread her body out on top of her. She broke their kiss briefly to find the hem of Kate's shirt and pull it over her head. She took a moment to take in the smooth, toned stomach, and pert breasts held by a black bra. She had always found red to be a sexy color for lingerie. Red is what Callie had always worn. It might have merely been the way it looked against her skin, so maybe that rule isn't universal…

The more Arizona thought about Callie, the more upset and flustered she became; her motions grew frantic as a result. Her hands hurriedly made their way to Kate's bra straps, ripping the cups down so that her breasts were exposed. Arizona was a woman's woman, and she could never say no to a breast, but she couldn't help but notice that Kate's nipples were a little bigger than Callie's.

Of course, Arizona is running off the memory of Callie's body six years ago. Nevertheless, that image is still fresh in her mind.

She wants to will it away, to concentrate instead on the woman in front of her. But she can't help but prefer the rich brown color of Callie's nipples over the more pinkish hue of Kate's. Arizona squeezes her eyes shut tightly, pleading with her mind to just let her focus for a moment, before quickly dropping her head to take a nipple into her mouth.

She hears Kate moan below her; it's not quite as low-pitched as the way Callie used to moan. That earth-shattering guttural sound that always made Arizona's knees weak, often bringing her so close to the edge she felt she could come without being touched.

Now she tries to block out the sound altogether. She laves the nipple with her tongue, running circles around the hardened tip before grasping it between her teeth. She tugs when she hears Kate hiss her approval. Arizona places open-mouthed kisses across her sternum, licking a path to her other breast which she also promptly sucks into her mouth.

Except it doesn't get past her that Kate's skin tastes just a little less…. sweet, than Calliope's. It doesn't set her taste buds on fire.

And now Arizona realizes that nearly all of her senses are at odds with Kate: her touch isn't as strong and alluring as Callie's, the smell of her perfume is less scintillating, the look of her breasts, the sound of her moans, the taste of her skin….

Kate pulls her back up to her mouth, kissing her again while running her hand down Arizona's body. Arizona feels her jeans being unbuttoned, her zipper being lowered, a hand slipping inside her panties. Fingers playing with the curls there. And for a moment she lets herself believe that the person touching her isn't Kate at all; it's Callie.

And she knows so well, so precisely, how it feels to be touched by Calliope, that she doesn't need the help of her imagination at all. In that moment, her mind is pleading to be touched, begging to feel those long, slender fingers inside of her, filling her.

But just as she feels two fingers begin to part her folds, her eyes open and lock onto the set below hers. And those eyes are blue.

And they are not the eyes she's been picturing in her mind. And those are not the hands she imagined touching her.

And this is not the woman she loves.

.

"Wait," Arizona says breathing heavily, grabbing Kate's hand. "Wait." Arizona sits up on the couch and is quickly followed by Kate.

"What's wrong?" Kate asked, her brows knitted in confusion as she struggled to reposition her bra.

"I'm sorry," Arizona said, as her eyes started to well. "I can't do this."

Kate's face fell in realization.

"I'm sorry," Arizona repeated again, briefly dropping her face into her hands before meeting Kate's gaze. "God, you're so great. You're _so _great. And I just can't…" she started, looking for the right words.

"Sleep with me while you're in love with someone else?" Kate finished.

Arizona sighed heavily, afraid to look at Kate but eventually doing so.

"Yes," she answered. "I'm sorry. I thought I could do this. I _wanted _to do this."

"I can't say it's a surprise, because it's not. But I would have liked to see where this went," Kate said, motioning between the two of them.

"I shouldn't have let it get this far. I shouldn't have let you get so involved. I'm so sorry."

"You mentioned that," Kate smiled wryly.

"Here," Arizona said, handing over Kate's discarded shirt shyly. She turned away while Kate quickly clothed herself.

"The mature, evolved part of me wants to tell you that if you still love Callie, then you should be with her, whatever the cost."

"And the other part of you?" Arizona asked.

"Wants to pout," Kate smiled. "Tell you she's not worth it. Protect my pride a bit."

"You're entitled to that. I won't insult you by asking if we can still be friends."

"Give me a week or two; then ask," Kate said. Because even though she knew what she was getting herself into, it was still going to be hard to get over Arizona.

After Kate had let herself out, Arizona pulled her knees to her chest and wept.

.

When Callie awoke the next morning, she was hit with an immediate headache. Crying for extended periods of time always did that to her. In addition, her cheeks felt so chapped that it was difficult to make any facial expression save the grimace she fell asleep with. Rolling over, she felt a lump beside her, forcing her to open her eyes.

"Mark?" she asked, nudging him awake.

"Huh?" he said sleepily.

"When did you get here?" she asked, confused.

"Late last night. I had to go back to the hospital to finish some charts and then I came here. What time is it?" he asked.

Callie looked over at the clock.

"7:15".

"Lily will be up soon," he said, rolling over to face Callie. "You look a little bit like shit."

"So sweet," Callie said sarcastically.

"You ready for today?" he asked.

"No. But what other choice do I have?"

"You could try to get the day off?" Mark suggested.

"Nah, I think working might make me feel better. Take my mind off things," she said. Then, after a moment, she asked quietly, "Do you think she did it?"

"Would you forgive her if she did?"

The conversation was interrupted by a shuffling in the hallway. Both turned towards the bedroom doorway, waiting for Lily's arrival. A few seconds later she appeared, her hair tousled from sleep and her Little Mermaid pajamas wrinkled.

"Morning baby," Callie said, patting the bed between her and Mark.

"Morning Mommy, hi Daddy," she said trudging over to the bed and climbing up. Nothing surprised her anymore.

"Hey pumpkin," Mark greeted, kissing her forehead.

"What are you doing here?" Lily asked.

"Came to keep your Mom company."

"Are you still sad today?" she asked Callie.

"No," Callie lied. "I am feeling much, much better." She painted a smile on her face and said, "Come on, time to get ready for school."

.

At the hospital, Callie dove head-first into work, giving 110% of herself to every case to keep her mind occupied. When she felt herself slipping into sadness, she worked that much harder, not caring if she burned herself out.

She was terrified of seeing Arizona; terrified of looking up from her manic multi-tasking to see her smiling and happy. She knew that'd be a nail in her own coffin.

But when she finally did bump into Arizona later that afternoon, she couldn't get a read on the blonde at all. She didn't seem happy _or _sad. _Surely_ she should be feeling one of those things.

Instead, she was oddly neutral; detached, as though the last few days were a figment of Callie's imagination. What Callie didn't know was that Arizona was physically pained by the sight of the woman she loved – sure that her love for her was never going to go away and yet still not knowing what to do with that.


	10. Chapter 10

Arizona picked Lily up from day care on her way home that evening, listening attentively as the young girl rambled on and on about her day.

"So you had a good day, then?" she asked, laughing.

"Yes! Much better than yesterday, because Mommy was sad, so I was sad, too. She was crying a lot and Daddy said sometimes that's okay, but I know he was just trying to make me feel better."

"Oh," Arizona said, the guilt settling in the pit of her stomach. "Well, I'm glad you had a better day today."

"Me too."

After dinner, Mark came over to collect Lily for the night.

"Hi, Daughter."

"Hi, Father," she replied, not missing a beat. This was one of the many unusual greetings concocted between the two; among them: 'What's the story, morning glory?' – 'I don't know, Daddy-o'.

"Hey, did Lily say anything to you about show & tell at school?" Arizona asked Mark.

"No, but I did get a call from her teacher today inviting us to be there on Friday," he said.

"Yeah, you have to come!" Lily shouted from across the room.

"I guess the parents just get to sit in on this one?" Mark said. "We'll see what we can do about our schedules tomorrow."

Being a doctor made it difficult to be available at all the right times, but Callie, Mark, and Arizona had done all they could to be present parents.

As Mark was walking Lily across the hall, he turned in the doorway.

"You okay?" he asked sincerely.

"I'm okay," she shrugged, offering him a reassuring smile.

Two days later, on Friday morning, Mark sat in the driver's seat of his car with Callie beside him and Arizona in the back. The car ride to Lily's school was sufficiently awkward, conversation seemingly making it more uncomfortable.

As they arrived at the school and stepped out of the car, Callie was able to finally take a moment with Arizona. They had barely spoken all week, which was uncharacteristic of their relationship, and to say both women were feeling the loss is to put it lightly.

"You look really pretty," Callie said, her and Arizona on the opposite side of the car as Mark.

"Thanks," Arizona replied, looking down sheepishly. "You do, too."

"How have you been?" Callie asked shyly.

"I've been okay. I heard about your surgery yesterday, that was really huge. I'm proud of you" Arizona said.

"Thanks," she answered, looking down at her shoes. "Look, Arizona I just want you to be hap—"

"You girls coming?" Mark asked from up ahead, breaking the women from their conversation. Callie's head snapped in his direction in frustration and Arizona straightened her blouse.

"Shall we?" Arizona asked, her and Callie trailing behind Mark.

As the three entered the classroom, their pace dramatically slowed as they noticed that they were surrounded by children (and _only_ children).

"Where are all the parents?" Mark asked out of the side of his mouth, trying not to move his lips. The three stood in a row, rooted in spot, at the back of the classroom.

"Hey!" Lily screamed, hurtling towards them. As she crashed into Mark's legs, Callie sought out the teacher kneeling down next to a student.

"I'm sorry, do we have the wrong day? Wrong time?" Callie asked.

"No, you're perfect," the teacher beamed. "Right on time."

As the children were rounded up for show & tell, they sat lamely in the back in desks three sizes too small for them.

"I'm so confused," Arizona said conspiratorially.

"Lily, do you want to go first?" the teacher asked.

"Yes! You guys come up front," she called out to them, beckoning them frantically with her hand.

"Us?" Mark said, motioning to the three of them. "We're good back here, kid. Do your thing."

"No, you have to come up here," she insisted. "Right, Miss Brenner?"

"Yep, that's right," she smiled.

Giving each other a wary look, the three walked to the front of the classroom, where Miss Brenner had assembled three stools for them to sit. Lily stood beside them.

"Whenever you're ready, Lily," the teacher said, taking a seat.

"Okay," Lily nodded, clasping her hands behind her back like a true professional. "For show & tell, I brought in my parents," she started. Arizona looked from Lily to Callie, a bit dumbfounded.

"You might think this is silly, since we're supposed to bring in something unique and we _all_ have parents. But it _is _special, because instead of one dad and one mom, I have one dad and _two_ moms!" she said excitedly. "Except, one of my moms I call Aunt Zona – I don't know why, that's just her name," Lily shrugged.

Tears welled in Arizona's eyes as she bowed her head and listened to Lily. Callie, too, sat in awe of her daughter while Mark smiled on. So impressed they were, by this little daughter of theirs who could take on the whole world. If they had half her understanding even at their age, they'd all be the better for it.

"All three of my parents are doctors. That means if you have a boo-boo, they can fix it. And even though we don't live together, we see each other all the time. We have dinner together a lot, and on the weekends sometimes we go to the park or sometimes we watch a movie. Aunt Zona knows all the words to the Disney songs, and she's teaching me. Me and my Mom can speak Spanish _and _English, and it's so cool because sometimes we can have secret conversations! And my Dad even takes me to the batting cages sometimes even though my Mom says I'm too young."

Mark pursed his lips and looked away from Callie, mock-obliviously. Miss Brenner laughed softly from her place in the back of the classroom.

"My family really loves each other a lot. So I don't care if I'm different from everyone else. My Aunt Zo says it isn't nice to brag, but _I_think I'm the luckiest girl in the world! Because I have an extra person to love me, and play with me, and read me bedtime stories. I have the best moms and dad in the world, and I love them very much," she said proudly, beaming from ear to ear. 

Callie and Arizona took their time changing into their scrubs in the empty Attendings' locker room. The car ride home had been mostly quiet; a reverent silence. Arizona had thus far remained stoic save for getting choked up as Lily spoke. Now, however, her emotions were finally simmering to the surface.

She sank down onto the bench and put her face in her hands, helpless to stop the sob that erupted from deep within her.

"Hey," Callie said worriedly, turning from her cubby to face Arizona. "Whoa, hey," she said soothingly, sitting down beside the blonde and pulling her hands away from her face.

And despite the fact that Arizona was crying, particularly hard, she was smiling.

"It's okay," Arizona reassured. "I'm okay. It's… happy tears."

"Okay?" Callie said, confused. But Arizona's smile was contagious, and Callie found the corners of her mouth turning upwards as well.

"God, that was _amazing_," Arizona gushed, the tears still falling. "She called me her _mom_. I can't tell you how incredible that felt."

"It was pretty amazing, huh?" Callie agreed, wiping Arizona's cheek with her palm.

"You'll never know. I just feel so… absolutely _moved_, Calliope," she said, her hand over her heart. She leaned her face into Callie's palm, resting it there. She covered Callie's hand with her own so that she couldn't remove it.

"It just felt so validating, you know? Like I wasn't invisible."

"You aren't invisible," Callie said tenderly. "I see you."

The two sat for a moment, comfortably silent. Arizona took a deep breath and attempted to compose herself.

"Anyway, you can correct Lily when you get home," she said. "It was just nice to hear."

"No," Callie shook her head. "She's right. You've been there from the beginning. You love her, you take care of her. You are just as much her mother as I am."

Arizona's heart swelled with happiness as she looked at Callie in awe.

"Thank you for saying that," she whispered.

Callie nodded, giving her one last small smile before standing and heading towards the door. "I'll see you later okay?"

"Wait, Callie," Arizona stood, stopping Callie before she reached the doorway.

Callie turned to look inquisitively at Arizona. And Arizona was struck by how heart-stoppingly beautiful she was; even in the most normal of circumstances she was larger than life. She always had this glow about her – even when she was angry, even yelling, she could just ignite. And when she was happy, when she was smiling, that light seemed to just radiate right off her skin.

Of course Arizona was scared; she was entirely terrified. Part of her wanted to clutch at any last vestige of caution she had left. But what meaning could she ascribe to her life if she didn't have Calliope in it? Loving her had become proof of existence for Arizona. Because even when it hurt, it felt worth it. And when it was good, it was _amazing_.

And at the end of the day, shouldn't we hold so tight to any woman whose mere presence can make us dizzy with wonderment? Whose most innocent of touches can set our skin ablaze; whose eyes give us the distinct impression that they are looking _through_ us every time they are looking _at _us?

Here was a woman she had given up her dream for, only to realize that her dream had only ever been Callie in the first place.

Arizona drew in a deep breath.

"I didn't sleep with her," she said.

Callie's face immediately softened, her expression completely opening as though shedding the mask of fortitude. She let out a long, slow breath of relief, her shoulders easing downwards as though a weight was being lifted from them.

Arizona opened her mouth to say something else, but could only give a slight shrug of her shoulders. They had exacted the art of silent conversation, anyway.

Callie walked slowly back towards the lockers, her eyes never leaving Arizona's. When she reached the blonde, she let her body press softly into Arizona's as she gently pulled her face in for a kiss.

Their lips touching for the first time in six years was unlike anything either could describe. They kissed slowly, purposefully, exploring each other lips. Taking in the feel of the other, reveling in the taste. Arizona wrapped one arm around Callie's lower back, her grasp tight, pulling Callie into her completely. Her other hand found the back of Callie's neck, tangling into her hair, as Callie encased her face between her hands.

Arizona could taste salt on her lips and she knew that Callie was crying; after a moment she realized that she was crying again, too. This only served to make them pull each other closer, tighter. Both were overcome by the unparalleled joy of experiencing something they'd thought they never would again. And, for both, a feeling of exquisite gratefulness.

Callie slowly and gently extracted her lips from Arizona's, resting her forehead against the blondes. She drew in a ragged breath through her tears, holding tenderly to the sides of Arizona's face. Arizona clung to the front of Callie's scrub top, as though afraid that this moment, this woman, might somehow slip away from her again.

Their bodies remained flush against each other. They both stood with their eyes closed, shutting out any image of the outside world; shielding themselves from the possibility that this was all a dream. Arizona brought her own hands up to clutch at Callie's desperately.

"Please, let's try," Callie pleaded. "Please… I want to try. I need to try."

They were standing so close that Arizona could feel Callie's breath ghost across her lips; could feel her heart as it thudded in her chest.

Arizona slowly released a breath, nodding her head.

"Okay," she said. "Okay. Let's try."


	11. Chapter 11

After composing themselves and getting cleaned up, Callie and Arizona began work, both anxious for an opportunity to really _talk._ Neither had much clarity; all either woman knew for sure was that they wanted to give their relationship another shot.

Later in the afternoon, Arizona found Callie pouring herself a cup of coffee in the Attending's lounge. Closing the door quietly behind her, Arizona cocked her head to the side, watching Callie from behind.

"God, remember how hard it was for you to give up coffee when you were pregnant?" Arizona asked, causing Callie to turn around.

"Ugh, yes," Callie smiled. "That was torture."

The two women stood facing each other silently, jittery and nervous in the way one is with a new crush.

"So…" Arizona said, mock-distractedly playing with her ID tag.

"So…" Callie echoed.

"I was thinking maybe tonight we can get together and talk. About what all this means."

"Yeah, I'd like that," Callie smiled.

"And let's not… tell anyone about this yet," Arizona said, biting her lip. "Especially not Lily. Not until we're sure it's going to work out."

"No, right. Yeah. Of course," Callie agreed, as though that were the obvious choice, even though a part of her felt hurt that Arizona wasn't confident that their relationship would work. "So, do you want to stop by the house tonight after I put Lily to sleep?" she asked.

"Yeah, that sounds good," Arizona smiled, flashing her dimples before turning and reaching for the door handle.

But, on second thought, she spun on her heels and took the few small steps to Callie, leaning up to place a small, soft kiss on her cheek.

.

By the time Arizona got to Callie's it was a little after ten. As she took out her key to let herself in (as she'd always done), she suddenly felt conflicted. If she and Callie were going to try dating, surely the rules were going to have to change. They would have to set new boundaries.

Knocking softly, she waited on the door step for an answer.

Callie opened the door with a puzzled look on her face.

"Why are you knocking?" she whispered, stepping aside for Arizona to pass. The blonde shrugged bashfully.

"Just something I'm trying."

Callie led Arizona to the living room, the TV softly humming in the background.

"Sorry I'm so late," Arizona said, hanging her jacket on the back of a kitchen chair. "I had a six-year-old come in with a burst appendix and Stark 'doesn't work nights'," she imitated.

"No, that's okay. I figured. You want some wine? A beer?"

"Do you have that red I like?" Arizona asked.

"Yes," Callie said, shaking her head as if to say: _obviously._

Arizona took a seat on the couch while she waiting for Callie, letting herself sink into its cushions. It seemed unfathomable that so much had happened in one day; just that morning she was sitting at the front of Lily's classroom. And later, kissing Callie. Her whole life had seemingly changed direction in just 12 hours.

She picked her head up as Callie approached, handing her a glass of wine and sitting beside her.

"What a day," Callie said, taking a sip from her glass before placing it on the end table.

"I was just thinking the same thing."

Callie tucked her knees up underneath her, turning to face Arizona.

"I really want to kiss you again," Callie said, unable to keep the words from tumbling out of her mouth.

"Okay," Arizona shrugged, smiling.

She let Callie lean across the couch towards her, softly kissing her again. Only this time the gentle nature of their kiss was short-lived, quickly giving way to something much more heated. Arizona blindly sought out the coffee table beside her, bluntly setting her wine glass on it without breaking the kiss. She climbed to her knees on the couch, palming Callie's cheeks and lifting her face upwards to meet her own.

Arizona felt Callie's hands smoothing over her denim-clad hips; she slid her tongue into the warmth of Callie's mouth as she felt hands creeping up the back of her shirt. Arizona's moan buzzed against Callie's lips as Callie inched her strong hands up the bare expanse of the blonde's back. As Callie lightly raked her nails down the sides of her spine, Arizona couldn't help but pull out of the kiss. Her head lolled back, a hiss escaping her lips at the sensation of Callie's hands on her.

Neck now exposed, Callie frenziedly attached her lips to Arizona's pulse, sucking. Biting. She slid her tongue along the line of Arizona's jaw before tugging the blonde back into a kiss.

"Oh God," Arizona said between kisses, her body on complete sensory overload. "Wait," she said jaggedly. "Wait." She pulled away from Callie apprehensively, trying to control herself. "Talk," she mumbled, almost incoherently. "We should talk."

Callie finally opened her eyes, reluctantly removing her hands from the back of Arizona's shirt. "Right," she agreed, running her fingers across her own bruised lips. "Talk. Talk is good, too. Let's do that."

Arizona rearranged herself on the couch, putting a few inches between herself and the woman she found absolutely irresistible. She took a fairly generous sip of her wine, trying to cool herself off.

"Calliope, you know my first instinct is to just jump right into this with you. But… given the circumstances, I don't think that's the best thing for either of us. I want it to work, I want this to be forever," she said, her voice pleading with Callie to believe in that truth.

"I do, too," Callie responded, seeking out Arizona's hand on the couch next to her.

"I just need to go slow," Arizona said. "I think if we really take our time, work on ourselves, work on our relationship, then we can figure out if this is the right thing for us."

"I agree, but…" Callie said hesitantly. "Don't you think we've wasted enough time apart?"

"Of course I do. But I don't want us to be reckless, Callie. I don't want to just jump right in where we left off. I'm so afraid of what will happen if we can't make it work again. I don't think our friendship can survive another breakup. And I can't imagine losing Lily…" Arizona said, her voice wavering.

"Arizona, no matter what happens, I would never take Lily away from you."

"You say that now, but breakups can make people really fucking bitter. No one knows that better than us."

"I _won't _keep you from Lily. I can promise you that right now," Callie said. "I haven't even considered the possibility that this won't work out."

"But you have to, Calliope. It fell apart before, it can fall apart again," Arizona reasoned.

"It fell apart _before_ because you jumped on a plane to Africa," Callie said cuttingly.

"And then _you_ slept with someone else and had his child," she countered.

Callie shook her head and looked away, emotions bubbling to the surface that she thought she'd dealt with long ago.

"Can we just edit out that last bit?" Arizona asked softly, no trace of the venom in her voice from a minute ago. "I don't want to fight. Especially over things we've fought over so much already."

"I don't either," Callie sighed. "Can we just start fresh? No more fighting about the things that happened years ago; it isn't fair for us to keep opening those wounds."

"Deal," Arizona said, shaking Callie's hand, and then holding on to it. "So, we're dating?" she smiled.

"Dating," Callie agreed. "And it just so happens that Mark has Lily this Saturday. So… would you like to go out with me?" she asked timidly, like a teenager.

"I'd love to," Arizona smiled, leaning in to give Callie a soft kiss on the lips. Sealing the deal.

Exhausted from her day, Arizona laid her head against Callie's shoulder. They absently watched the faint glow of the TV as Callie stroked her hair.

.

On Saturday night, Arizona dabbed a little extra perfume on her pulse points.

Callie put on that red dress that Arizona was always complimenting (though always platonically) and some chandelier earrings for good measure.

They drove an extra 20 minutes out of their way to ensure some privacy from their friends and colleagues. Arizona picked the place.

"A jazz club?" Callie questioned, smiling. "You're going in for the kill so soon?" Callie was a sucker for a jazz, and Arizona was obviously privy to that.

"I aim to please," she said coyly, linking her arm through Callie's and leading her into the restaurant. Arizona had managed to get them a table fairly close to the stage, despite it being so crowded.

After they ordered their meals, they sat contentedly across from one another, talking about their day. Eventually, Arizona asked:

"So, are we supposed to have a different kind of conversation now? I mean, isn't this the same as all the other times you and I have gone out to dinner?"

"It's way different," Callie answered. "For one, no five-year-old," she said, ticking off on her fingers. "I can picture you naked without having to mentally chastise myself; I can openly flirt with you, you can openly flirt with me…"

"So the lady wants flirting," Arizona smiled coquettishly. "Like if I tell you how unbelievably sexy you look like that dress?"

"Oh you like it?" Callie asked, playing dumb.

"You know I do. Every time you wear it, it takes all of my restraint not to touch you."

"You never told me that," Callie said seriously.

"I wasn't supposed to."

.

After their meal and some libations, Callie led Arizona to the small dance floor beneath the stage.

"The only reason I'm letting you make me dance is because I can't resist being so close to you," Arizona said.

"Whatever works," Callie chuckled. "But come on, can you really deny this music? It's so… sexy." Callie pulled the blonde into her, wrapping her arm around her waist.

Arizona melted into the embrace, letting Callie's rhythm flow through her limbs. Closing her eyes, she realized that the soulful music coming from the instruments overhead really _was_ sexy. Or maybe it was Callie that was making this moment so. Her whole body tingled from the thrill of Callie holding her so tightly.

"Calliope," she whispered, slowly opening her eyes to meet Callie's. She slid her hands purposefully down the Latina's sides, clutching at the fabric of her dress. "You're so beautiful."

And she said this breathlessly, said it in such a way that left no doubt in Callie's mind that she meant it. It had been something Callie had missed over the years – being told she was beautiful. And not as a passing comment or a nicety, but in the heartfelt and sincere way that Arizona used to say it.

Callie's lips crossed the short distance between her and Arizona, finding the blonde's mouth and kissing her passionately.

That night the women reluctantly parted ways, remaining firm in their painful decision to go slow. Yet as they lay in their separate beds, and unbeknownst to the other, both women attended to the unrelenting heat of their frustration.


	12. Chapter 12

"Mommy, I'm home!" Lily squealed, running through the front door that Arizona had just unlocked for her. Callie caught her in a sweeping hug, smiling broadly.

"Did you have a good day at school?" she asked, turning to smile at Arizona.

Arizona took off her jacket and set her bag down, all the while Lily babbled on about her day.

"That sounds great, baby," Callie said, Lily perched on her hip. "It's so funny though, I can smell York Peppermint Patty on your breath."

"That _is_ funny," Lily said, wiggling her way out of her mother's arm and running to her room. She'd never sell her Aunt Zo out.

"She's gonna have rotten teeth if you keep feeding her all that junk," Callie said, mock-sternly.

"Those teeth are gonna fall out anyway," Arizona shrugged, taking the opportunity in their quick moment of privacy to place a soft kiss on Callie's lips.

"Mmm, hi," Callie said.

"Hi."

.

Arizona stayed for dinner as she usually did when she picked Lily up from daycare. After they'd eaten, Lily took a coloring book into the living room and sat on the floor, picking her colors carefully as she always did. She was entirely too meticulous for a five-year-old.

As Arizona cleared the table, Callie couldn't help but be mesmerized by the sound of the blonde's heels as they clicked from the table to the sink and back. Each click on the hardwood resounded as a thud on Callie's clit; she couldn't help but be wrapped up by that sound.

As Arizona turned on the hot water, she looked over at Callie, still sitting in her chair. She was staring off into space, a glassy look in her eyes. Arizona walked back over, stopping right in front of her.

"What are you thinking about Calliope?" she asked playfully.

"Huh?" she said, snapping out of her trance. "Nothing."

"You're blushing. Tell me."

"It's those _heels_," Callie blurted. Arizona looked down at her feet, her ankle-length stilettos that zipped at the heel.

"What about them?"

"It's the sound," Callie answered, lowering her voice. "Can I make a confession?"

"Yes, please."

"It's been very… difficult for me, in the past… to be around you when you're wearing heels. On a hard floor. Like this," she said, pointing down. "Or the tiles in your apartment. Or when you're in the bathroom doing your makeup… God," she exhaled heavily at the thought. "That sound, the rhythm that you make when you walk. It _really _turns me on. It always has."

"Oh really…" Arizona said, lifting her eyebrows and lowering herself so that she was straddling Callie on the chair. The living room was only separated from the kitchen by the backs of the couches so Arizona spoke quietly.

"If I had known that I would've worn heels a lot more," she said, her lips so close to Callie's that they brushed as she spoke.

"Believe me, you've tortured me enough over the years."

Arizona pushed her hips down on Callie's, the seams of their jeans providing a quick hit of friction for both. Arizona swallowed Callie's gasp of surprise (and pleasure) by kissing her.

"Mom!" they heard Lily yell.

Arizona sprang off Callie's lap just as Lily's head popped over the back of the couch.

"Yeah baby?" Callie said, clearing her throat as Arizona tried to make herself look busy at the table.

"I can't find my blue. I need it," she said.

"Okay. Mommy'll find you a blue, don't worry."

.

In the beginning it was easy to hide the fact that they were dating, mainly because they hadn't yet been put in a situation which warranted disguise. And in front of Mark, they thought they'd been doing a brilliant job of acting normal – little did they know that Mark knew them both much better than they expected. (Plus it'd been several days since either of them got weepy on him; a dead giveaway). But a week later they were put into their first uncomfortable social situation.

"Dr. Torres," Arizona addressed formally, stepping up beside her at the coffee cart. "How are you today?"

"Ah, Dr. Robbins. I am feeling spectacular today, how are you?"

"Same," she smiled. "What a coincidence. Let me buy you that coffee." As Arizona handed the cashier her money they were approached by a third doctor.

"Dr. Robbins, Dr. Torres," the woman spoke, beaming a bit at the second name.

"Dr. Carlisle," they both greeted. Dr. Carlisle was an anesthesiologist who had just been put on Callie's orthopedic scrub team.

"Please," she said, turning specifically to Callie. "What did I tell you about calling me Natalie?" She placed a hand on Callie's upper arm; Arizona's eyes were glued to that hand, her blood pressure rising just a bit.

"Right," Callie said. "Natalie." She sensed Arizona's tension as the third doctor inched just a bit closer to her.

"Calliope, I'm going to need you for that consult," Arizona lied, trying to take back the conversation. "Dr. Carlisle, nice to see you," she said backing away.

"I should go," Callie pointed over her shoulder. "Have a good day," she said cheerfully before turning to follow Arizona.

'_Wow, she really took off,' _Callie thought, as Arizona was already out of sight. Just then her pager went off.

She smiled as she looked down at the device on her hip and saw that it was Arizona. It was the number to an on-call room.

Looking around nonchalantly outside the door, Callie quickly turned the knob and entered. As soon as she did, she was pressed forcefully against the back of the door; her coffee cup tossed in the trash as Arizona flattened her body against her. The blonde kissed her hard.

"Mmm," Callie reacted instinctively, her hands gripping Arizona's ass tightly, pulling her closer. She savored the taste of Arizona's tongue in her mouth. She heard the click of the door locking behind her.

The blonde's hands were moving frantically over her body, one hand settling in her dark hair and tugging.

"Baby," Callie moaned, before sucking Arizona's bottom lip between her teeth. She had gotten wet so fast, and even moreso as she felt Arizona's fingers climbing her bare stomach.

Before Arizona could even _think _to stop herself, her fingers were reaching the undersides of Callie's bra. She brushed her palms over Callie's hardening nipples before kneading her breasts roughly in her hands.

"Oh my god," Arizona whimpered, overcome by the feeling of touching Callie so intimately again.

Callie felt her knees going weak as she forcefully sought out Arizona's lips again. She pressed her arm across the chest of her scrub top, trapping Arizona's hand under her shirt. She didn't want this to stop, although she knew eventually it would have to.

Finally becoming aware of her surroundings, Arizona hesitantly pulled away from the kiss, her palms laying flat against Callie's breasts as she rested her forehead against her lover's cheek.

"Fuck," Arizona sighed, trying to steady her breathing. Callie wiped the hair out of Arizona's eyes.

"That was a nice surprise," Callie chuckled.

"She likes you, you know," Arizona said, looking up to meet Callie's gaze. "She was flirting with you right in front of me."

"She was just being nice," Callie tried to reason. "Besides, she doesn't know that I'm with anybody. No one does." She was speaking soothingly, placatingly, but Arizona was still buzzing with jealousy.

"Does that mean that I just have to stand by and watch people paw at you?" Arizona asked, taking a step back.

Callie tugged on the front of the blonde's scrub top, reeling Arizona back into her embrace.

"Stop. Nobody's pawing at me but you."

.

_A few days later…_

"I was in surgery with baby daddy earlier and he said that Miss Lily was going to her first big-girl sleepover tonight," Cristina said, sliding into a seat beside Callie in the cafeteria. Arizona and Meredith were seated at the table as well.

Callie pouted a little.

"Yes. Don't remind me," she said.

"Oh, stop," Arizona chastised softly. "She's going to be fine."

"What if she gets scared or something? She's never spent the night without one of the three of us."

"I'm sure Hannah's mom will call us if anything happens," Arizona reassured.

"I'd hate to be the mom hosting a slumber party for a bunch of five-year-olds," Meredith grimaced.

"Oh just wait," Callie said, laughing. "That's gonna be you in three years."

Meredith shook her head as if completely expelling the thought from her mind. Her and Derek's son had just turned two last month.

"And you're coming to Derek's fundraiser tomorrow night, right?" Meredith added.

"Yeah, Mark got a babysitter," Callie said.

"_Anyway_," Cristina said, roping the conversation back towards her own agenda. "The reason I asked, besides having a deep and abiding interest in the life of your daughter, is because we're all going to Joe's tonight. For Bailey's birthday. You guys have to come. Mark already said he's in.

Callie fought the urge to look at Arizona for confirmation. A single woman would be able to make the decision for herself.

"You have no excuse, so…" Cristina continued, looking at her expectantly.

"Well, _I'm _not gonna miss Bailey's birthday," Arizona said, as if it were obvious. "Besides I already got her a present." They all turned to face Callie, waiting on an answer.

"Sorry, I guess I'm… just worried about Lily. But I can worry from Joe's right?" Callie said.

"You can get drunk from Joe's, if that's what you mean," Cristina corrected. "It's settled then," she said, biting off the head of her carrot with a crunch.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: This is a continuation of the last chapter (wouldn't all fit on LJ so I split it up. So it's short!)

"Robbins, I can't believe you got me a present!" Bailey giggled, slapping Arizona's shoulder considerably harder than the situation called for. Bailey was drunk, and nothing was funnier than a drunk Bailey.

"Of course I did!" Arizona yelled over the music, feeling the effects of the alcohol herself. The jukebox volume was cranked just a few notches higher this evening, in the spirit of Bailey's birthday. Joe had rigged the machine so that Bailey could play free tunes all night.

There was an incredible turnout; many of the SGMW employees had made a showing and the bar was packed. Callie and Owen were playing darts while a drunk Meredith and Cristina held down the makeshift dance floor. Mark and Derek were laughing over their pints of beer, and from her little corner of the bar, Arizona eyed Callie discreetly as often as possible.

Teddy walked over to Arizona and Bailey, carrying three shot glasses carefully.

"Ladies," she said, her eyes a bit glassy as she passed the shots out.

"Aw, I love you guys," Bailey slurred, grabbing her glass. Arizona and Teddy looked at each other before bursting out in laughter. Bailey was definitely drunk.

After Callie had beaten Owen at darts three games to one, they approached the bar for a refill.

"I'd like to buy a drink for the birthday girl," Owen shouted to Joe, gesticulating exaggeratedly at Bailey. Cristina came bounding off the dance floor toward her husband, throwing her arms around his neck and kissing him noisily on the cheek. Owen pulled back a bit.

"Ugh, you're sweating," he laughed, wiping his face and then wiping Cristina's.

"Yeah, I don't know if you know this but Meredith and I just cut a rug. We're straight tearing it up out there."

As the others laughed, Callie quickly ran a finger up the outside of Arizona's thigh, dipping inside the hem of her dress before retreating. She liked playing with fire and today was no different. Plus, she had hardly been able to keep her eyes off Arizona the entire night.

"Hey," they heard from behind them, causing Callie to take a step away from Arizona's bar stool. They both turned towards the new person as the rest of the group said hello.

"Oh, Natalie," Callie said. "Hi."

"Hi," she said. "I was hoping you'd be here."

"Hey," Arizona said loudly, alerting Natalie to her presence. Not that it would make much of a difference.

"Hello, Dr. Robbins," she said, the bar quiet for a moment as the jukebox segued into the next song. The jazzy sounds of "Fever" came next. "I love this song," Natalie gushed, turning to Callie again. "Dance with me," she said, more of a command.

"Uh," Callie started nervously, "no thanks. I shouldn't." She smiled sweetly for good measure.

"Why?" Natalie asked. "Are you seeing somebody?"

"Oh no," Teddy supplied. "She doesn't date."

Arizona downed her drink, immediately signaling to Joe that she needed another one.

"Just because you don't date doesn't mean that we can't dance, does it?" she said flirtatiously, stepping close enough to Callie that their fronts touched. "Where's the harm in one dance?" she added.

Arizona took her refill from Joe, immediately plucking out the tiny red straw and drinking right from the glass.

"I have it on good authority that you're good at doing it," Natalie said lasciviously.

Arizona choked on her liquor. "What?" she couldn't help blurting, here eyebrows furrowed.

"Dancing," Natalie said, as if it were obvious.

"Oh yeah, she's so good," Bailey said obliviously.

"See? Come on, Dr. Torres. Humor me," she said, grabbing Callie's hand and tugging her along behind her.

Callie looked behind her at Arizona, trying to convey a look of apology. Arizona could only watch on as the woman she loved was pursued by someone else. The grimace on her face felt like it was set in stone.

Amongst the few other people on the dance floor, Mark quickly caught site of the Latina he knew so well. Dancing with another woman. Which was completely contrary to the signals he'd been picking up over the last couple weeks. But as his eyes searched the room for Arizona, one look at her expression let him know that this was definitely _not_ part of the plan.

Callie tried to enjoy dancing without having to get too close to the other doctor. Natalie, it seemed, had other plans. Although you wouldn't think it by looking at her, she was actually a pretty good dancer. But Callie could think of nothing but what Arizona must be feeling. She casually glanced up at Arizona as often as she could, her face completely downtrodden.

"You okay?" Teddy asked, studying her best friend.

"Huh?" Arizona said, breaking out of her trance.

"I said, are you okay? You got quiet all of a sudden. And you're getting that weird rash on your neck that you always get when you're pissed," she said, trying to find the source of Arizona's displeasure. She chalked it up to it being the first time Arizona had seen Callie with another woman since their own split. The first time's always the hardest.

"No, yeah, I'm great," Arizona said, expressionless.

"That was entirely unconvincing," Teddy said. "But if it'll take your mind off things Kate just walked in."

Arizona put her face in her hand, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. This night went from really great to pretty shitty in just a few short minutes.

"Arizona, hey," Kate said, walking up to the bar and ordering a drink. Teddy excused herself and Kate took the barstool next to the blonde.

"Hey," Arizona said, heaving a heavy sigh. She let her gaze wander back to Callie and Natalie, her stomach lurching at the sight of Dr. Carlisle touching her Calliope so personally. On stretches of skin she should not be touching.

"So I thought that… you were going to tell Callie how you feel," Kate said, taking a sip of her drink.

"I did," Arizona answered.

"And she didn't… feel the same way?" she said carefully.

"No, she did. Does."

Kate shook her head, confused.

"We're trying not to tell anyone until we figure it out. So in everyone else's eyes, we're both free agents," Arizona said bitterly.

"I see," Kate said. "Well there's only about 30 seconds left of this song. Hang in there," she said, patting Arizona's shoulder before grabbing her glass and moving to meet some other colleagues.

When Arizona looked back towards Callie, she knew from the look on Callie's face that she had seen the interaction with Kate. And Arizona knew that she wasn't the only jealous one.


	14. Chapter 14

Callie quickly excused herself from Natalie at the conclusion of the song. As she headed back towards the bar, she saw Arizona gathering her things. Approaching, she overheard the blonde talking to Bailey.

"I'm gonna head out," she said. "I hope you had a great birthday."

"Already?" Bailey pouted.

"Yeah, I'm beat," Arizona said, giving Bailey's shoulder a squeeze and saying goodbye to their other friends.

"You're leaving?" Callie asked disappointedly.

"Yeah, I'm gonna go," Arizona said, forcing a tight smile. She laid some money down before exiting the bar and talking the short distance to her apartment.

Callie sat impatiently for the next few minutes, her leg bouncing wildly as she tried to wait an appropriate and unsuspicious amount of time before leaving herself.

Quickly abandoning any attempt at discretion, Callie yawned conspicuously before bidding everyone farewell.

"Where's she going?" Bailey asked, watching Callie walk the opposite direction from her car or the hospital.

Mark, who was standing nearby, jumped in on Callie's behalf.

"She's going to sleep at my place," he said. "She drank too much and I didn't want her to drive."

Bailey thought about this for a minute before smiling at Mark.

"You're a good friend," she slurred.

"Yeah," Mark sighed, signaling for another drink.

.

Callie used her key to unlock the door to Arizona's apartment. She was immediately hit by the smell of smoke. Arizona was sitting on a chair near the kitchen, smoking a cigarette. In any other situation, Callie would admonish her for this bad habit. Right now seemed like a bad time.

"Hey," Callie said, dropping her purse onto the couch as she walked over to crack a window.

"Hey," Arizona answered, blowing out a steady stream of smoke before ashing into an empty beer can.

Callie took a seat on the arm of the couch, facing Arizona.

"That was… uncomfortable," she said hesitantly.

"No, Callie. That was fucking _excruciating_," Arizona corrected, her voice cold but her eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I'm sorry," Callie said. "There was nothing I could do, you saw the way she dragged me out there."

"Yeah – I also saw her putting her hands all _over _you," Arizona said, raising her voice. She took one last drag of her cigarette before dropping her butt into the can. "She couldn't possibly be trying any harder to fuck you."

Callie was taken aback by Arizona's brashness.

"How do you think I felt?" Callie countered. "That the minute I stepped away you jumped right into a conversation with the woman you so recently had feelings for? Maybe even _still_ have feelings for?"

Arizona sighed heavily.

"I don't" she said, her resolve breaking a bit as she tried to convey the honesty of her words. "Calliope, I _don't_. I don't want anyone but you."

Callie kept her eyes trained on the ground.

"I'm sorry," Arizona continued. "I just felt… really invisible tonight."

"You're not invisible, baby," Callie said, standing to walk over to Arizona. She stood in front of the blonde, taking the beer can out of her hands and placing it on the counter. She tilted Arizona's face upwards so that she was looking at her.

"This doesn't have to happen again," she whispered. "Let's just tell people, I don't care."

"I'm just not ready for that yet," Arizona said sadly. "It's only been two weeks; it's too soon." Her eyes began tearing at the harsh reality that either decision would hurt her right now.

"Come here," Callie said, pulling Arizona out of her chair and into her embrace. She kissed Arizona delicately, pulling her close and trying to comfort her.

The blonde felt her tension start to dissipate at the first touch of Callie's lips. She wrapped her arms around Callie's lower back, hanging onto her, her body weak with fatigue and emotion and alcohol.

Arizona broke the kiss, resting her head against Callie's shoulder, her lips touching her lover's neck.

"Will you stay with me tonight?" she murmured.

"Of course," Callie answered, walking Arizona backwards toward the bedroom. As they walked, Callie helped the blonde discard her shirt, revealing her black bra. As they reached the foot of the bed, Arizona peeled Callie's knee-length dress up and over her head before unbuttoning her own pants and shrugging them down her hips.

The women stood in front of each other, nearly naked, taking a moment to drink in the sight of the other.

"You're so fucking beautiful," Arizona sighed, brushing her fingertips down Callie's shoulders. Callie placed her hands on the bare skin of Arizona's sides, pushing her backwards until she was sitting on the bed. As Arizona inched toward the headboard, Callie crawled on top of her, exhaling raggedly as she felt her skin pressing against the blonde's.

Arizona's hands roamed the expanse of Callie's back; her panties were cut high on the cheek and the blonde couldn't help but grab that exposed skin in her hands. Callie moaned and instinctively ground her hips down against Arizona's pelvis, forcefully kissing her.

Arizona wrapped her legs around Callie's hips, needing to feel her heat directly. Wanting it closer. She felt lips against her neck as Callie began thrusting long and slow against her. And even though they were both wearing panties, Arizona could feel the pressure against her ever-hardening clit. She sucked in a break as her brain fogged over. She heard Callie's breath quickening in her ear as she felt herself drawing closer and closer to the edge.

"Fuck, wait," Arizona rasped. "I'm getting close."

"Cum for me," Callie growled, her hips grinding down harder.

"No, Callie, wait," Arizona said again, grabbing Callie's hips and trying to halt their movement. "Wait."

Callie pulled her head back to look at Arizona worriedly. Questioningly. The blonde's face was flushed, her eyelids heavy with arousal.

"What's wrong?" Callie asked.

"I'm sorry," she said, rolling out from underneath Callie and sitting on the side of the bed. "I'm just not…"

"Ready?" Callie guessed bitterly.

"I'm sorry," Arizona whispered again, hugging a pillow to her chest. Callie laid on her side, facing Arizona's back.

"Is it me?" Callie asked, feeling suddenly self-conscious. "I know my body has changed…"

"God, Callie, no," Arizona said, quickly turning around to face her. "Your body is beautiful." She looked at the woman before her reverently. "I am _so_ attracted to you, Calliope."

"Then why don't you want this?" Callie asked.

"I do, I _really_ do. Just… not yet. Not tonight. I want it to be special. I want it to be the right time for us."

Callie sighed.

"Okay," she conceded, although her arousal hadn't abated at all.

"Can I hold you tonight?" Arizona asked, pulling the covers back.

When Callie consented, Arizona climbed in beside her, spooning her from behind. She wrapped her arm tightly around Callie's stomach, nuzzling her nose into the smooth skin of her lover's neck.

"You know in the morning I'm running those cigarettes under the faucet right?" Callie mumbled sleepily.

"Yep."

.

A few days later the weekend rolled around, as did Derek's fundraiser for his new Alzheimer's trial. It wasn't going to be a very formal affair (they were having it right at Derek and Meredith's house), but all the Attendings were expected to show face and make nice with potential donors.

Mark hired a babysitter for the night; a quiet 20-something who lived two floors up. Currently, Callie and Lily were next door at Arizona's while Mark showered and got ready.

"Arizona you need to finish getting dressed," Callie said, looking at her watch. "We're supposed to be leaving in 15 minutes."

Arizona was standing at the microwave in her robe, making Lily a bowl of Easy Mac. So far she had only blow-dried her hair.

"Okay. Watch the food," she said, heading into the bedroom.

"Are you gonna wear the dress I picked out?" Lily called after her.

"Yes," she yelled back.

As Arizona dressed, Lily finished her Mac & Cheese. Within a few minutes, Mark knocked once before entering.

"Hey, Shelly's here," he said.

"Ooh, Daddy you look handsome!" Lily giggled.

"Why thank you," he said, lifting her over the back of the kitchen stool she had been sitting on. "You ready to go next door?"

"Yeah," she said, gesturing for her mother to come over and kiss her goodbye. "Aunt Zo, I'm leaving!" she yelled.

Arizona walked out of her room, in her dress but barefoot, hooking in her earrings.

"Robbins, you look sharp," Mark said.

"Dad, _I _picked that out," Lily said proudly.

"Yes, she did," Arizona said, leaning over to kiss Lily. "Have a good night Sweetie; be good for Shelly, alright?"

"I'll be back in a few minutes and then we can go, okay?" Mark said, carrying Lily next door.

"Almost done?" Callie asked when they were alone again.

"Makeup and shoes. Five minutes," she said, heading back into her room.

"Hey, where's the remote?" Callie called out to her, looking for something to do while she waited.

"I don't know, Lily had it last. Check the couch cushions."

Callie slid her hand between the couch cushions, finding nothing. She pulled one of the cushions out, checking behind it. Still not seeing the remote, she fisted a handful of change, a pen, and two bobby pins and placed them on the end table. As she went to replace the cushion, something shiny caught her eye.

"Hey baby?" she called.

"Yeah?" Arizona said, appearing in the doorway. She leaned against the frame, sliding one heel over her foot before the other.

"Did you lose an earring?" she asked, holding the jewelry out to her.

Arizona approached her, taking the earring and studying it.

"No, that's not mine," she shrugged.

"Huh," Callie said confused. "Well, whose would it be? I just found it in your couch."

"Oh," Arizona said, diverting her eyes as she realized whose it had to be. "I don't…"

"Arizona?" Callie asked, noticed how skittish the blonde had become. "Whose earring is this?"


	15. Chapter 15

Arizona couldn't meet Callie's gaze, afraid of the conversation to follow.

"Whose is it?" Callie asked again, demanding an answer.

"I guess it must be Kate's," she said quietly, carefully.

"Why would it be in the couch?" Callie asked pointedly.

"You've never had an earring fall out when you were laying down?" Arizona said without thinking, cracking under the pressure of being interrogated.

"I'm sorry, _what_?" Callie said, her temper flaring.

"No, wait, that sounded… not right," Arizona back-pedaled.

"You've been fucking lying to me this whole time? Callie yelled. "When you said you didn't sleep with her?" She threw the earring forcefully against the wall.

"No, Callie, listen to me. I _didn't _sleep with her," Arizona said calmly, trying to talk Callie down.

"And on the couch, too! Should I be happy that you didn't even have the decency to take her to your bed?"

"Callie—"

"Fuck you," Callie spat. "I hope she was worth it." She turned, heading toward the door. Arizona grabbed her arm to stop her, but Callie yanked it away as if she'd been burned. She whipped around to face the blonde again, the look on her face so angry that it actually scared Arizona.

"I didn't do it!" Arizona pleaded. "Callie, you have to believe me, I _didn't sleep with her._"

Callie studied her face, blue eyes tearing a bit at the corners, trying to decide whether Arizona was telling the truth.

"When's the last time you had her here?" Callie asked. "Did you ever even break it off?"

"Of _course_ I broke it off. The last time she was here was the night… I made dinner," she said, not wanting to bring up such a sensitive time. "But I didn't have sex with her."

"Were you lying on that couch with her?" Callie asked, unable to say Kate's name. Arizona put her head down before answering quietly.

"Yes," she admitted.

"And what were you doing?"

"Callie, we weren't together then," she said, gesturing between the two of them.

Callie let out a sharp laugh of disbelief.

"Wrong answer," she said.

"We didn't have sex," Arizona hurried to add. "We were going to but… I just couldn't."

"And how fucking long did it take you to realize that you couldn't do it? Exactly how much of you did she get to see, get to _feel_, before you decided to stop her?"

"Please stop," Arizona said, one lone tear sliding down her face before she could stop it.

"I know we weren't together. I know you weren't breaking any rule. But do you know what really hurts? What fucking kills me?" Callie asked, no longer yelling. "That we've been together for more than two weeks, and you barely even touch me. She got farther with you on your fucking _couch_, than I have at all. You don't even want people to know about me," she said sadly. "Now who's invisible?"

Before Arizona could respond, there was a quick rap on the door. Arizona wiped her face as the door clicked open.

"Ready?" Mark asked, before realizing something was wrong.

"Let's just get this over with," Callie muttered, grabbing her purse and pushing past Mark.

"What the fuck happened?" he asked Arizona. "Everything was fine 15 minutes ago."

"Don't ask," she said, grabbing her bag and heading out the door.

.

The car ride was uncomfortably silent. Mark shifted uncomfortably in the driver's seat, checking his mirrors neurotically for something to do.

When they reached Derek and Meredith's, Callie quickly got out of the car and walked ahead. Arizona took her time getting out of the car, feeling drained and defeated. Mark waited beside her while she got her bearings.

"I don't want to be here," she said, running a hand over her forehead.

"I know. Just go in there, show face, and then you can go."

Arizona sighed and nodded her head, starting to walk towards the house.

"Hey," Mark said, stopping her. "Are you guys okay?" he asked seriously.

Arizona shrugged.

"I really don't know."

.

Inside, Arizona plastered a fake smile on her face, greeting the donors and encouraging them to contribute to the would-be groundbreaking study and advancement of Alzeimers treatment. After about an hour of working the room, most of the donors were less interested in business and more interested in the alcohol.

Arizona let out a heavy sigh, checking the room for Callie. She wanted to talk about things before it had any more time to fester. She didn't want to lose Callie over something that happened before they even got back together.

She didn't want to lose Callie for any reason, ever again.

She found Mark and Derek at the drink table.

"Need a refill?" Mark asked knowingly, reaching for the vodka.

"Ugh, yes," she said thankfully. "Nice turnout," she said to Derek.

"Yeah, we got a lot of donations so far," he smiled.

Arizona took her new glass from Mark, turning to scan the room. In her peripherals, she caught sight of that familiar black hair. She let her gaze fall on Calliope, who was perched beside the staircase.

Even from across the room, Arizona could tell that Callie had consumed a little too much alcohol. At this point, she could read her body language uncannily well.

So when Natalie descended upon Callie, even from far away Arizona knew it wouldn't be good.

.

"You're looking incredibly ravishing tonight, Dr. Torres," Natalie said, sidling up next to her.

Callie looked up at her, her eyelids a little heavy from the liquor. She took a generous sip from her drink.

"You look pretty good yourself," she said, leaning towards her.

"I believe that's the first compliment you've ever paid me," Natalie said, reveling in the sudden attention that she'd never gotten from Callie.

When Callie looked up and accidentally locked eyes with Arizona, she spitefully took her flirting to the next level.

Arizona couldn't hear what they were saying, but she could see the way Callie was creeping closer to the other doctor, and it was making her stomach sick.

She watched as Natalie laughed loudly at something Callie had said. She knew Callie must be laying it on thick. Now their shoulders were touching, they were leaning into each other, speaking intimately. Callie threaded a piece of Dr. Carlisle's hair through her fingers.

Arizona's jaw was clenched so tightly it felt like it might break. She wanted to go over there and pry them apart, but she was rooted in place.

"Those two look pretty cozy," Derek said, unaware of the hammer he was nailing into the coffin.

Mark looked up to where Derek was motioning, almost choking on his drink at the way Callie was hanging on the other woman. He turned his attention to Arizona's expression; he saw nothing but pain. Her chin was ever-so subtly quivering.

And when she saw Callie's lips brush across Natalie's neck, she felt herself starting to fall apart.

She sucked back a sob, turning her head away so that she couldn't see them anymore. She looked desperately to Mark. In her eyes, a look of "_how could she do this to me?"_

"Here. I can take a cab," Mark said, fishing his keys out of his pocket and handing them to her.

She took them wordlessly before hurrying out the front door.

When Callie looked up again, Arizona was no longer there. In her place was Mark, who could only shake his head sadly. Disappointedly.

Callie turned her head in time to see the door slam shut; and, drunk or not, she realized she had just made their problems a whole lot worse.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: This is a short chapter, but it's also very climactic. That said, I didn't think it would do it justice to continue on with the story in the same post. So, I apologize for the length.**

Callie's face went white as she took a step backward, putting space between her and Natalie.

"Fuck," she said, putting her drink down so hastily that she didn't notice when the glass tipped over and smashed. She bolted towards the door, needing to catch up with Arizona before she left.

"Arizona!" she yelled out blindly, flying out onto the front patio. She jogged as best she could in her heels toward the car, finally spotting Arizona walking ahead of her. She called out to her again but the blonde kept walking.

Callie caught up to her just as she reached the driver's side door of Mark's car. She grabbed the door handle out of Arizona's hand, stumbling drunkenly against it in the process. She inserted herself into the space between Arizona and the car, leaning back against the SUV to keep herself steady.

"Wait," she said breathlessly, latching on to Arizona's arm.

"Don't touch me!" Arizona screamed, her face a mask of tears and smeared makeup.

"I'm sorry," Callie said, her own eyes watering at the sight of Arizona so upset; watering in the face of what she'd done. She gestured back towards the house as if to explain her simple statement. "I'm sorry," she said again, her voice pleading with Arizona to believe her.

"You're sorry?" Arizona asked in disbelief. She shook her head incredulously. "All this time, and you haven't changed at all. You still think it's okay to use alcohol and sex to make yourself feel better, or… or to get back at someone! That is _not _okay!"

"I know," Callie conceded. "I know."

"You have no idea! What's really changed here, Calliope? That makes us different then we were six years ago? Nothing's changed. Nothing's different. I don't know why we thought we could make this work."

"Don't say that," Callie said, her brows furrowed in pain. "Look, I know what I did was childish and spiteful and I _hate_ that it was my knee-jerk reaction, but it was."

"So I should just get over it, because it was your _instinct_ to hurt me? How much would I have seen if I hadn't walked out? A floor show all night? Or did your knee-jerk reaction include taking her home with you?"

"Arizona, no… I would _not_ have slept with her. I wouldn't do that to you."

"You've done it before!" Arizona countered.

"We _weren't together!" _

"That's really ironic, because I said the same exact thing earlier this evening and yet, here we are."

Callie couldn't respond, realizing how right Arizona was. The only reason they were in this mess was because she had gotten so upset over something that happened while they were apart.

"You _knew_ how much it would hurt me, and you did it anyway. You say you love me, yet you _want_ to hurt me," Arizona said, wiping the tears from her cheeks as fresh ones fell. "How can I be with someone like that?"'

"I made a mistake," Callie said quietly. "I made a huge fucking mistake tonight and I am… _beyond_ ashamed of the way I acted. And I am so sorry."

"No," Arizona said, shaking her head. "No. You can't always apologize your way out of your bad choices. We were doing so well as friends," Arizona cried. "We should have never jeopardized that. This was a mistake, Callie."

"No!" Callie said, crying harder now and reaching out towards Arizona. Arizona took a step back. "It isn't a mistake, Arizona, we love each other! We can make this work. Please, don't give up. Just take a few days to think about this," Callie begged.

"I don't _need_ a few days, Callie. I'm done. I'm just done," she said sadly.

"No… please, no," Callie sobbed. "Don't do this. I love you. I _love_ you."

"I need to leave now. Please move," Arizona said, trying to hold herself together.

"I'm not moving," Callie said, still leaning against the car. Her chest was heaving and she was pretty sure she was hyperventilating. She was growing frantic now, but didn't care how desperate she looked or sounded.

"Calliope, get away from the door," Arizona said, her voice breaking.

"You're not leaving," Callie cried. "You can't leave." She clung to the car door with her hands, leaning against it with her back.

Arizona would never lay a hand on Callie, never yank her away from that car even though she desperately wanted her to move. But bargaining with her with words was never going to work.

"You have to let me go," Arizona said, starting to cry again. She felt a sob welling in her throat, ready to tear her apart from the inside.

"I can't!"

Just then they heard the jingle of keys and the clicking of shoes on the concrete patio. Teddy appeared in sight a few seconds later, her expression going from happy to concerned in an instant.

"Is everything okay?" she asked cautiously.

"Teddy, take me home," Arizona said, half-plea, half-demand.

"Um… Okay," Teddy said, afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing.

"Arizona, please," Callie said, one last attempt at making her stay.

Arizona stood quietly for a second before turned to Teddy.

"Can we go now?" she asked.

Teddy nodded her head, and Callie watched as the two got into her car and backed out of the driveway.

As the taillights faded from sight, she slid down the car onto the damp pavement, weeping into the silence.


	17. Chapter 17

Arizona had Teddy drive her by the apartment, but only to grab a few things. Teddy had agreed to let Arizona stay with her for a few days; with Callie and Mark both having spare keys, Arizona knew she'd never find an escape at home.

"So are you gonna tell me what happened?" Teddy asked later that night as she made up the sofa bed for her friend.

"If I talk about it… I think I'll fall apart," Arizona said. Her eyes hadn't been dry for hours and she expected this to hold true for days, if not weeks.

The next morning over coffee Arizona was able to tell Teddy about her and Callie; about their attempted reunion, about their ultimate demise.

.

Callie had spent the night camped out on Arizona's couch, waiting for her to come home. Mark had pleaded with Callie to just give Arizona some space, but she couldn't be persuaded. She told herself she'd stay there as long as it took for Arizona to come home, so that she could beg her to reconsider.

When she woke up the next morning, she was sober and the events of the previous night hit her with renewed clarity. She immediately broke down in tears.

.

Over the next few days, Arizona did her best to stay under the radar. She refused to see Callie or take her calls, no matter how persistently frequent they were. She went through her work days on autopilot. The minute she was off the clock, she was straight back to bed, breezing through box after box of tissues. She missed Lily. She hadn't seen her since she started staying at Teddy's. And with this came a feeling of guilt. They were completely disrupting the little girl's life – one of the things Arizona had been of afraid of to begin with.

A few days after the blowout, Arizona broke down and called Mark. For some reason, she had been avoiding him, too. She felt he would only ask her to give Callie a second chance, and that wasn't the kind of friendship she needed right now.

"Hi Mark," she said as he picked up the phone.

"Arizona," he said, relieved to be hearing from her. "How are you holding up?" He walked into his bedroom and closed the door.

"I'm not," Arizona replied honestly, the tears starting again.

"Are you back in your apartment yet?"

"No. I'm still at Teddy's." Arizona sighed. "I miss Lily."

"She's been asking about you," he said.

"Is she there now?

"Yeah, she's here. She's in the living room playing with her Barbies."

"Can I come over?" she asked.

"Of course."

"Is… is Callie there?" Arizona added quietly.

"No, it's just us."

"Okay, I'm leaving now."

.

When Arizona got to Mark's, she stopped into her own apartment first to pack a fresh bag of clothes. The air smelled musty, damp, as though no one had been living in it for three years rather than three days. She missed the comfort of home.

When she walked across the hall, Lily came running towards her the minute the door opened. Arizona swept her up into her arms, unable to stop the tears from spilling from her eyes. Crying had become an hourly occurrence for her, a fact of life.

As Lily clung to her, tiny arms thrown round her neck, Arizona stroked her dark, coarse hair, covering her face and head with kisses. Arizona rarely spent more than a day or two away from the little girl, and this distance had affected them both.

Finally, Lily pulled back to look at Arizona, furrowing her brows.

"Where were you?" she asked accusingly, indignantly.

"I'm sorry, baby. I've just been… staying with Teddy for a while. Keeping her company," she said, holding Lily with one arm and wiping her face with the other.

"You didn't even call Mom's to talk to me," Lily said, a look of sadness crossing her features.

"I know. But I wanted to. I really wanted to," she replied, setting the girl's feet on the floor and trying to change the somber mood. "I missed you, let me look at you. I think you've gotten taller!"

Lily smiled, knowing she was being teased. Mark, who had been standing in the kitchen, approached the pair.

"Robbins," he greeted. "You look like you could use a beer."

"Please," she said, blowing out a puff of air.

"Aunt Zona, Daddy bought me _two _new books today," Lily said, grabbing the blonde's attention back.

"He did?"

"Can we read them?" she asked, already threading her fingers through Arizona's and tugging her into the living room.

"You go ahead, I'll bring it out," Mark said, grabbing two beers out of the fridge and joining the girls on the couch.

.

Later, after Lily had been put to bed, Arizona and Mark sat at his kitchen table, a fresh beer in front of each. They sat quietly for a while, both acknowledging that some situations warranted no words and in fact could not be summed up at all.

Arizona could feel tears stinging her eyes and she became angry with herself for having seemingly no control over her emotions.

"I want my life back," she said quietly.

"Which one?" Mark asked, taking a drink from his bottle.

"You mean some people get more than one shot at this?"

"I mean... do you miss your life from last week? Having Callie back? Or do you miss your life from last year, when you were only friends?"

"I don't even know anymore," Arizona sniffled.

"Well, staying at Teddy's can only help for so long. Eventually you're going to have to face this. Maybe you should come back home."

"I don't know, maybe," Arizona said hesitantly. "It just feels… _sad _in there now. Besides, that apartment is not very conducive to avoiding Callie."

"Maybe you should just talk to her," Mark said sheepishly, knowing that this was not what Arizona wanted to hear.

"Mark," she said, shooting him a glare that said enough. Mark held up his hands in defense.

"I'm just saying. Isn't there _any _way you guys can work this out?"

"Were you at Derek's?" she asked rhetorically.

"I know; I know it was bad. But I just can't imagine that there's nothing to be salvaged. You two have been through worse."

"Yes, and thank you for your part in that," she said, both teasing and truthful. "I'm just tired, Mark. It's always one thing after the next with us, you know? It's always something. And I think it's time that I finally move on."

They were silent again for a moment, Mark trying to digest with Arizona was saying. Finally, he spoke.

"If that's what you decide, I'll respect that. I'm here for both of you, you know that."

"I know," Arizona said. And she truly was grateful for his friendship. "But, maybe until this all gets sorted out you could run interference for me? I don't want to go without seeing Lily again, but I'm not ready to see Calliope yet."

"I'll do that for you," Mark nodded.

And he would, even though it pained him to see his two best friends so upset. Even though he had sat up with Callie the last two nights in a row, while she sobbed inconsolably about what a mistake she'd made.

"I ruined it," she'd said, her voice hoarse. Her head was laid in his lap; he'd never seen her so destroyed – not even when Arizona left the first time. And for once, he was completely at a loss at how to comfort her. He'd been there, he'd seen what she'd done, and he disagreed with her behavior. But he would be there for her, like always, because that's what a friend did. And because he'd never judge her, affording her the same courtesy she'd always afforded him.

It didn't matter if she was right or if she was wrong. She was broken, as was Arizona. And now he'd have to find a way to be a friend to them both. Because they had a daughter to think of, and he wouldn't let this family fall apart.

.

After Arizona left Mark's that night, she went back to Teddy's and flopped onto her bed beside her. She had been sleeping.

"What's going on?" she asked groggily, rolling onto her back. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Arizona sighed, toeing her shoes off so she could put her legs on the bed. "I think I'm going home tomorrow."

"You sure?" Teddy asked, her eyes still closed. "You're welcome to stay as long as you want."

"I'm sure. It's hard not having Lily. But I can't thank you enough for taking me in."

"Anytime, Arizona. You don't even need to ask." Finally, she opened her eyes. The room was dark but she could make out Arizona's features as she lay staring at the ceiling. "Have you talked to Callie at all?"

"No. I'm still just… so _mad_, you know? I can't even imagine being un-mad."

"I know," Teddy said understandingly. "But one day, you will be."

.

Callie had never felt so utterly devastated. She hated that she'd behaved that way; hated that she couldn't channel her anger into something constructive. Like a conversation.

She knew deep down that the Callie who would act like that wasn't a Callie that necessarily deserved Arizona. But she also knew that there was a side of her that did; the warm, loving side of her that truly, in her heart of hearts, would never wish hurt on Arizona. And she knew that she was capable of being that person all the time.

More than anything, she vowed to prove that the kind, mature Callie was not just a flight of fancy – but rather a person that Arizona could love. Could learn to be with again. Could learn to trust again. She would change her whole life if that's what it took. She would do whatever it took to get Arizona back.


	18. Chapter 18

It had been almost a week since Derek's fundraiser, and Callie had yet to talk to Arizona. It wasn't for lack of trying. Callie had kept calling, kept leaving pleading messages for a call back, kept seeking the blonde out at work. But Arizona was proving elusive.

Finally, Callie ran into Arizona at a nurse's station and descended upon her before she had the chance to run away.

"I need to talk to you," she said, coming to stand beside Arizona. Arizona stiffened at her presence but didn't look up from the chart she was writing in. She didn't respond.

"Arizona, please," Callie continued. "Just let me talk to you. I _miss_ you," she pleaded.

Arizona looked around them self-consciously, making sure no one was listening in to their conversation.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"I can think of a million things to say. Please, if I could just—"

"Calliope, this is neither the time nor place," Arizona said, snapping her chart closed.

"Then name a time and place and I'll be there," she said, refusing to give up. Arizona finally turned to face her.

"I am nowhere _near_ being ready to talk to you, Calliope. And when I am, it will be only in a friendly capacity, do you understand?"

Callie looked down as Arizona brushed past her.

.

Callie was disheartened from her conversation with Arizona to say the least. She was excited for her afternoon surgery, wanting nothing more than to submerge herself in work. On the other hand, she dreaded being near Dr. Carlisle. She sighed, thinking back to their first surgery together after the incident.

They had stood next to each other as they scrubbed in, Callie's eyes still red from her intermittent crying.

"What happened to you the other night?" Natalie asked. "Things were just starting to heat up," she said lasciviously.

"About that," Callie started.

"You don't have to explain," Natalie said. "But you _can_ make it up to me."

"Look, you've very nice, Natalie. Really. But the other night was a mistake." She sighed heavily, wishing she could avoid this conversation yet needing to get it over with.

"I'm in love with someone else," she continued. "And I was mad at that person, so I… I used you to get back at her," she said sheepishly. "I know it sounds harsh and I know I'm a terrible person for doing it, and I'm sorry."

Natalie was quiet for a moment. "Maybe you _were_ just using me to get back at someone, but you can't deny this attraction, Callie."

"I'm sorry, but I can. I just don't feel that way about you. I'm sorry for leading you on," she said, hoping that this matter was put to rest.

.

It soon become clear that Natalie would not heed Callie's warning. A few days after, Natalie made a sexual comment to Callie in passing. True to form, Callie informed her that if she continued making inappropriate comments to her at work, she would have no choice but to have her removed from her scrub team.

And today, Callie had reached wit's end. She was 15 minutes into repairing a broken femur when Dr. Carlisle publicly commented on the arousing nature of Callie's strength.

After the surgery, Callie cornered her.

"You need to stop," Callie said.

"What?" she said innocently.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to sign off on having you moved from my team."

"Having me moved isn't going to make Arizona Robbins love you," she answered calmly.

The words cut like a knife. Had she been so obvious? Arizona's name coming out of this woman's mouth sounded all wrong.

"You are absolutely right," Callie said, refusing to take the bait. She looked at Natalie sadly before walking away.

Dr. Carlisle was notified of her impending move by the end of the day.

.

Arizona's stomach growled angrily as she made her way to the cafeteria; it had been over eight hours since she last had a chance to eat. Just as she was nearing the door, Chief Webber intercepted her.

"Oh, Dr. Robbins. Good," he said, motioning for her to join him near a deserted strip of hallway. "Who is your scrub anesthesiologist?"

"Dr. Martucci. Why?" Arizona asked curiously.

"I'm in a bind. I need to find a surgeon who's willing to swap out their anesthesiologist."

"For which doctor?"

"Dr. Carlisle."

"Absolutely not," Arizona said, not missing a beat.

"Is there a problem?" The chief asked, confused by her reaction.

"Pediatric anesthesiology requires a range of knowledge far different than that of adult surgery. There is no way Dr. Carlisle could possibly possess that knowledge and I am in no way willing to gamble on the lives of my patients. Dr. Martucci is efficient, experienced, and quite frankly I am not at all willing to trade her off like she's a baseball card," Arizona huffed.

The chief was silent for a moment, his lip turning upward in the way that it does when he's thinking.

"Fair enough," he finally answered gruffly, turning to leave. After a few steps, he was halted by Arizona's voice.

"Wait – Chief? Why the need for a move?"

"Ask Dr. Torres," he said, unaware of their current predicament. "Conflict of interest within the team."

.

That following week, as Callie tucked Lily into bed, the little girl asked her mom to lay with her for a bit. Exhausted, Callie climbed in beside her. Lily nestled into the crook of her armpit.

"Mommy, how come we don't do things as a family anymore?"

Callie's face took on a pained expression.

"What do you mean?" she asked, even though she knew exactly what her daughter was referring to.

"Me and you and Daddy and Aunt Zo. We used to do things together all the time. Now we don't do anything together," Lily said sadly.

"Well," Callie sighed, choosing her words carefully. "Mommy did something really bad and it hurt Aunt Zo very much. So it's hard for her to see me right me now."

"What did you do?" Lily asked, looking up at her mother.

"It's… a grown-up thing."

"But why did you do it?" she implored.

"Because I was upset," Callie said. "And I thought it would make me feel better if Aunt Zona was upset, too. But it didn't. Instead it made me feel worse."

"Well, did you say you're sorry?"

"I tried to, but… sometimes no matter how many times you say you're sorry, it doesn't make it hurt any less."

Lily was quiet for a moment.

"What are we gonna do?" she asked quietly.

"_We_ aren't going to do anything. Mommy made this mistake and now I have to fix it. But no matter what happens, Aunt Zo is _always_ gonna be here for you. You know that, right?"

"But I want us to be a family. I love Aunt Zo," Lily said.

"I love her, too," Callie said, studying her daughter's small palm inside her own. "I mean, I _really_ love her. I'm in love with her – do you know the difference?"

Lily shook her head no.

"Well when you're in love with someone that means… that you love them as _more_ than a friend," Callie explained.

"You mean like… you love them as a girlfriend?"

"Yeah. As a girlfriend."

"Can you be Aunt Zo's girlfriend? Then maybe she won't be so mad at you."

"It's complicated, Sweetie," Callie said, and the two girls got quiet again. Callie thought Lily had fallen asleep when she spoke again.

"How will I know when I want to be somebody's girlfriend?"

"Well for starters you'll be… at _least _30. And you won't be able to stop thinking about that person; you'll want to spend every minute with them. You'll know all the bad things about them and you'll love them anyway."

"Like how Belle loved the Beast even though he was really ugly?"

"That's mean, Lily. But it's actually a really good example," Callie conceded.

"That sounds magical," Lily sighed dreamily.

"It is," Callie said, kissing her daughter's head before turning off the bedside lamp.

That night they slept together side by side.


	19. Chapter 19

Arizona had been back in her apartment for a few days now, and she had to admit that it felt nice to be home. It wasn't that she was struck (and pained) by happier memories of Callie in this space – because she was. But she was doing all she could to keep her mind occupied. And so far using Mark as the middle-man was proving effective in allowing her to keep her time with Lily.

She had just pulled a bag of fun-size York peppermint patties from her cabinet when she heard the light rap she had been waiting for. Callie was dropping Lily off at Mark's, and Mark was bringing the young girl to Arizona's for the night.

When she opened the door, however, her smile fell.

"Oh," she frowned, face-to-face with Callie. And even though Callie expected this disappointed reaction, it still felt like a punch to the gut.

"Hi," Callie said quietly, looking at her shoes. "Don't worry, I'm not going to ask to come in," she hurried to add. "And I'm not going to sit out here and bang on your door all night until you agree to talk to me. You need your space; I realize that now."

Arizona kept the doorknob in hand, but made no move to close it. This was not the frantic, desperate woman she had gotten used to over the last couple weeks, and that somehow piqued her curiosity.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm not going anywhere," Callie said. "I'm gonna be here, even if I'm not _here-_here. Even if I'm not posting guard outside your apartment for days on end. I'm not giving up on us. I won't. Because I think that what we have is something really special. And I think that I can be the type of person that you deserve—I think I _am _that person; I just need another chance to show you."

Arizona listened quietly, her silence giving nothing away as Callie continued.

"So you take all the time you need. I won't keep harassing you. I just need you to know that when you're ready to talk, I'll be waiting. Because I'm committed to this," she said, pausing. "I _miss_ you. There isn't an hour of my day that I'm not thinking about you."

Callie took a deep breath and a step back, having reached the end of her prepared speech. After a moment of silence, she realized that Arizona wasn't going to respond.

"Anyway," she sighed. "Mark will be bringing Lily over soon, so… I hope you feel ready to talk to me soon. I love you," she said, her eyes finally tearing up as she turned and walked away down the hallway (she was proud she had made it that long without crying).

As Arizona heard the ding of the elevator closing behind her, she drew in a shaky breath.

"I love you, too," she whispered to no one, quietly closing the door behind her.

.

Over dinner that evening, Lily was particularly chatty.

"My mommy said she did something really bad, and that's why we don't do things as a family anymore," she said, holding a noodle between her fingers and slurping it into her mouth.

"Did she?" Arizona asked, not wanting to confirm nor deny. "Use your fork," she admonished.

"Uh huh. And she says she loves you like a girlfriend. Like how Belle loved the Beast even though he was so ugly."

Arizona frowned.

"That's kind of mean," she answered.

"She said that, too," Lily said nonchalantly. "So I was thinking that maybe if _you_ wanted to be Mom's girlfriend, too, then you won't be mad at her anymore and we could all be together again."

"It's complicated, Lil."

"You grownups are always saying that but it seems pretty easy to me!" she said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"How can we help it if we've raised a genius?"

"If _I _do something really bad, will you stop talking to me?" Lily asked seriously.

"Of course not," Arizona said softly, placing her hand on top of the girl's. She was reminded, not for the first time, that her actions were meant to be a model for their daughter – and that these were not the morals she wanted her daughter to learn. "Look," she sighed. "How about this weekend you, me, your mom, and your dad all have dinner together?"

"Really?" Lily beamed. "Promise?"

"Promise."

"Yes, yes, yes!" she yelled, bouncing excitedly in her seat.

"Alright, now finish your dinner."

.

When Callie's phone rang later that night and she Arizona's name flash across her screen, her heart nearly stopped. After just one ring, Callie fumbled to open her phone.

"Arizona?" she blurted.

"It's me, Mommy," Lily said from the other line.

"Oh," Callie replied, for a moment feeling foolish for believing that Arizona might be calling to make peace. "Hi baby. What are you doing? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, we just ate dinner. Guess what?" she asked gleefully.

"What?"

"Aunt Zo says we can all have dinner together this weekend!"

Callie was, for a moment, stunned.

"Really?"

"Yeah, isn't that great?"

"Are you sure that's what she said?" Callie was having a hard time making sense of Arizona's sudden compliance in light of her earlier reaction.

"Yeah, she said it; She promised," Lily said.

"Um… okay," Callie said. "Well, tell her I'll cook. We can do it here."

"Okay, I will! Love you, Mom."

"Love you, too," she said, but Lily, in her excitement, had already hung up.

Callie clicked the end call button before immediately punching in Mark's number.

"Hey," he answered. Callie could hear the sound of traffic in the background.

"Hey. Where are you?" she asked, expecting him to be across the hall from her topic of conversation.

"Ugh," he groaned. "Walking over to the hospital, I just got paged. What's up?"

"Arizona wants to have dinner this weekend," she said.

"Wow, that's great," Mark answered. "Like a date?"

"No, not like a date. Like you, me, Lily, and her. You know, dinner."

"Oh. Just dinner?"

"Mark. So far she hasn't even been willing to be in the same room as me. I'll take what I can get."

"No, you're right. That's—" he paused, pulling the phone away from his ear to look at the screen. "Wait, she's calling me right now."

"Okay," Callie said as Mark clicked over. She waited impatiently for him to come back.

"It's Lily, hang on," Mark said, coming back on the line for a second before switching right back over.

After a few moments, which Callie filled by pacing her kitchen, Mark rejoined the conversation.

"Okay, sorry," he said. "Well, it's official. Dinner on Saturday at yours."

"What do you think this means?" Callie asked nervously.

"Cal, I have no idea but I'm at the hospital. I gotta go."

"Ugh, okay."

"Do me a favor? Don't overanalyze this, okay?"

"Oh yeah, piece of cake," she said sarcastically.

"Bye."

"Bye."

Callie tossed her phone onto the couch beside her, already anticipating the weekend.

.

The next few days passed slowly, yet they registered as a blur in Arizona's mind.

She was doing this dinner for Lily. It was all for Lily.

And yet a nagging part of her brain was tempting her to confess that maybe it was a little about Callie, too.

Her heart was in her throat, its pulse pounding in her ears as she rang Callie's front doorbell. Lily came bounding to the door, swinging it open with such gusto she nearly fell backward. Her cheeks were red from sweating, her hair sticking a bit to her cheeks, and from the other room Arizona could hear Callie belting out salsa music.

She followed Lily into the kitchen, pausing just outside to watch Callie for a moment unannounced. Callie had her back turned as she stood at the stove, her apron tied loosely around her back. She was singing along to the radio, an upbeat Spanish song that Arizona could remember hearing before. Callie's hips moved fluidly, and, to Arizona's eyes, seductively.

"Sauvementeeee… besame… que quiero sentir tus labios, besandome otra vez,"  
she sang, her voice loud and perfect. Her hips winding in concentric circles.

"Suave!" Lily yelled at her part of the song, banging rhythmically on the counter. "Sauve!"

Callie looked at the young girl and smiled. She loved to see parts of herself in her daughter.

As the two danced on, Arizona could feel the back of her neck blushing with heat. She could never resist Callie like this. It took all of her restraint not to mold herself against Callie's back, to feel the movement of those hips rather than see it, to kiss the soft patch of skin at the back of her neck.

As Callie spun herself in a circle, she caught a glimpse of Arizona's figure out of the corner of her eye. She stopped dancing, a bit embarrassed at having been caught regardless of the fact that Arizona had seen her dancing a thousand times.

"Hey," Callie said, breathing hard.

"You two are going to need a nap before dinner," Arizona said, looking at the sheen of perspiration on both girls' faces. They must have been at it for a while.

"I think you're right about that," Callie smiled, wiping her forehead with the back of her forearm.

.

As Callie finished preparing dinner, she tried to engage Arizona in some kind of conversation, but Arizona was mostly quiet. She was kind yet reserved, doing exactly what she had come to set out to do – repair this for Lily's sake.

Yet she couldn't help feeling a little rattled by her earlier reaction to Callie, couldn't help wishing that she wasn't drawn like a magnet to this woman who had hurt her so much.

Lily twitted around happily, helping to set the table as she waiting for her father to arrive. Just as they were setting the food on the table, Mark walked through the door. He was all smiles, clearly ready to disarm the situation if the need arose. But he was pleasantly surprised that all seemed copacetic on the home front.

Dinner itself was oddly comfortable, all four falling back into the same dinnertime routine they'd shared for years. The adults kept Lily chatting about all of the minute details of her life at the moment; it seemed that she was growing so much every day.

When Callie eventually began to clear the plates off the table, Arizona rose to help her. Mark, always one to try getting out of the dishes, stood up and pointed to Lily.

"Ready for your bath, Michael Phelps?"

"Yes!" Lily said, hopping up from the table and running down the hall and up the steps.

Realizing that she was being left alone with Callie, Arizona raised her eyebrows incredulously at Mark.

"What?" he mouthed, shrugged and following Lily upstairs.

Arizona stood in front of the sink, rinsing the plates wordlessly as Callie continued to clear. As the silence grew particularly uncomfortable, Arizona heard Callie speak from just behind her.

"Just yell at me."

"What?" Arizona said, turning around.

"Yell at me. Scream. Tell me how angry you are, that you hate what I did to you. Just say what you need to say."

"I don't need to say anything, Calliope," Arizona said tersely.

"Yes, you do. And I think that if you just get it all out you might feel better. Slap me if you have to, I don't care. Anything is better than you saying _nothing_."

"God, I'm not gonna _slap _you," Arizona huffed, drying her hands on a dish towel before starting to walk out of the room.

She was stopped by Callie's hand on her wrist, tugging her backward, but she refused to face her again. When Callie released her arm, she couldn't force herself to continue walking.

Callie hesitantly placed both of her hands on the sides of Arizona's shoulders. She heard Arizona sigh deeply, and she took a step forward, her front nearly touching the blonde's back. She leaned in, her nose pressed against the side of Arizona's neck just below her ear.

Arizona felt Callie tighten her grip on her arms, could feel her body nearly pressing against her back, could hear the intake of air as Callie breathed in the scent of her shampoo.

"Please," Callie whispered, her lips touching Arizona's ear. "Yell at me. I'm afraid you'll never be able to forgive me if you don't".

Arizona sucked in a breath, the hair on her arms standing on end. She felt her insides tightening at the feel of Calliope so close, as if she were fastened into the corset. She couldn't help but let her head roll to the side, exposing her neck even more.

Callie slid her hands down Arizona's shoulders, brushing her fingertips all the way down to her wrists and back. She fit her cheek perfectly into the bend in Arizona's neck, the way she used to. Unable to stop herself, she placed a slow, moist kiss on the blonde's collarbone. She felt just a sliver of hope when Arizona quivered at the touch, but her heart sank when she stepped away.

Arizona took a few seconds to compose herself before turning to face Calliope.

"I can forgive you, Callie. I just can't be with you," she said sadly. "Please. Just leave it at that."

"I can't," Callie said, taking another step towards Arizona. Her hand sought out Arizona's, lying against her side. She expected Arizona to pull away, but she didn't. Instead, the blonde laced their fingers together, holding on. Her other hand unexpectedly pulled Callie forward by the front of her shirt until their bodies were flush against each other. Their foreheads touching, Arizona's free hand clung to Callie's neck. For just this moment she wanted to remember the feel of her.

"Just leave it at that," she finally whispered, before extricating herself from Callie's body. She left the room before Callie could see that she was crying.


	20. Chapter 20

**a/n: So this story has been on like a two year hiatus. I kind of lost inspiration – but I've had a lot of kind messages asking me to continue and I pushed out another chapter. We'll see what happens from here. Thanks for all your comments!**

Several weeks had passed since that dinner, and the family had resumed spending time together again. None could say that it was exactly like it was before, but it was a start. Arizona was more careful than ever to keep her distance from Callie. She had allowed herself to slip, there in the kitchen; she couldn't quite deny herself the feel of this woman that she had missed so much. But she vowed to herself that it wouldn't happen again. It was one moment of weakness; nothing more.

Callie couldn't really complain; she would take what she could get. If Arizona wanted friendship, she would be the best friend in the world. She would do anything to make the blonde remember what she loved about her, to show the blonde that her heart was in the right place. She had disrespected Arizona in the worst way, flaunting another woman in front of her like a teenager with an axe to grind – and she wanted forgiveness more than she knew how to express.

And Lily couldn't get the idea out of her head that her mommies could be together. It was something she'd never really considered before. And this manifested itself in many ways.

Like the day the three girls had taken a walk down the bike trail at the park. Lily stood between them, holding both their hands so that they could swing her every few steps. When Callie got tired and asked for a break, Lily ran ahead of them – but not before she extracted her hands from theirs, forcing their own hands together in place of hers.

Arizona looked down to their hands and then up at Callie, saying nothing. They walked a few steps until the familiarity of holding Calliope's hand became too much, and Arizona pulled away.

.

Callie herself would drop the not-so-subtle hint, not wanting Arizona to forget that she was still there; that she still wanted her.

Like the time the week before when she dropped Lily off at Arizona's apartment.

"Here's her bag," she said, handing Arizona a tiny pink beach bag. Lily's daycare was taking a field trip to the pool the next day. "Her bathing suit is in here, suntan lotion's in the front pocket, I signed her permission slip, P.S. I love you," she said in a rush of breath.

"Callie," Arizona warned, shaking her head.

"I'm just saying," she shrugged, hugging Lily goodbye before leaving.

.

Cristina had managed to pester Callie until she told her what was going on. For the most part it was no surprise to Cristina; not only had she witnessed their on-call room fight, but she had also noticed the way Callie and Arizona, formerly inseparable, were hardly talking. Even now that the storm seemed to have blown over, things were always just a bit too formal between the two.

"Okay, you are like… pathetically sad," Cristina said disgustedly. Callie was standing at the nurse's station, scratching notes into a chart as if on autopilot. Cristina stood beside her aimlessly, chewing an apple.

"You're sweet," Callie said, smiling tersely.

"No, really. You're making _me_ look like a ball of joy," she said, gesturing with her apple. "Do you want me to take you to a gay bar?" Cristina asked seriously.

"No, Cristina."

Unbeknownst to either, Arizona was in earshot. She had just gotten a page to the ER, where she was needed for the intake of a young boy. She tied on her gown, careful not to be seen.

"Don't think I won't. I look like more of a dyke than you do."

"Don't say dyke," Callie reprimanded.

"Why? I'm taking it back. It's empowering."

"It's empowering if you _are_ a dyke, which you're not."

"But I will be, this weekend, when I take you to a gay bar."

Callie sighed tiredly. "I appreciate it, Cristina. Really. But I have absolutely no interest in doing that."

"Are you gonna make me say it? You're gonna make me say it. You need to get laid," she said simply.

"Oh God," Callie mumbled, rolling her eyes.

"No, just listen. You need to get back on the horse and stop moping around. Haven't you ever heard that the only way to get over a dead pet is to get a _new_ pet?"

"Arizona is not a _dog_, Cristina," Callie snapped, catching even herself off guard. She lowered her voice. "I can't just replace her. I _won't. _And no amount of sex with some random woman that I don't love is going to make me happy again."

Arizona's hands trembled a bit, and she took a moment to compose herself before she walked past the nurses' station and into the ER.

Both women grew quiet as she came into sight. Once she was outside again, Cristina spoke.

"Look, you know I like Arizona. But I also hate seeing you like this. You're not yourself. And I want my friend back," Cristina said sincerely. And when her pager beeped not a minute later, she couldn't help but sense that Callie looked a bit relieved.

.

"Adrian," Arizona said in surprise as she pulled back the curtain to reveal a familiar face.

Adrian was a 7-year-old little boy who she had treated twice before, both times for a broken bone. Like all young boys, Arizona assumed that he was a little rough-and-tumble (although she has to admit that the last break was so severe that he had to spend a night in the pediatric ward – a night in which he spent every waking moment walking Arizona through the plotline of the entire Star Wars prequel AND sequel trilogies. Needless to say, they both pulled an all-nighter while the boy's mother slept soundly in a nearby armchair).

Arizona looked up to the concerned faces of Adrian's parents. "What's going on?" she asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

"It's his leg again," his father answered, her face wrought with concern. "He fell at school and the nurse called Annie to come pick him up. When she got there, she said he couldn't even walk on it."

Arizona listened patiently, securing a new pair of latex gloves over her fingers. "Which leg is it, buddy?" she asked quietly.

Adrian whimpered as he pointed out his left thigh. "How did you fall?" she questioned gently, as she lightly touched the pained area. The boy let out a loud cry and she quickly pulled her hands away.

"I- I don't know," Adrian sobbed. I got up to sharpen my pencil and I just- I just fell. It hurt and I fell," he said, crying harder.

Arizona looked up at the parents, trying in vain to calm their son.

"I'm going to page Ortho, okay?"

.

The two women stood quietly side by side, looking up at the x-ray plastered against the fluorescent mounting.

"Jesus," Arizona whispered. "How does a kid fracture his _femur_ just by walking to the pencil sharpener?"

"Arizona, look at this," Callie said quietly, running her finger around the outline of the bone in the x-ray. "This bone is starting to bow."

"What are you thinking?"

"Is this his first break?" Callie continued.

"No, it's his third in… probably less than two years."

"Do you see these lesions?" she quickly pointed out to Arizona. "He's young and it's rare but… Fuck, Arizona," she said, rubbing her forehead. "We need to do a bone scan."

.

Several hours later, Arizona entered Adrian's room to find his parents sitting by his bed. The young boy, finally calmed by pain meds strong enough to quell the ache of his broken leg, lay sleeping. Callie slipped in quietly behind her.

"What did you find?" the mother asked anxiously, sitting up straight in her chair.

Callie cleared her throat before speaking.

"Your son has a rare bone disorder called fibrous dysplasia. As Adrian's been getting bigger, fibrous tissue has been growing in the place of normal bone in his femur. Over time, that tissue has been weakening the bone, and in your son's case, his femoral bone has started to deform. This has made him much more susceptible to fractures and breaks."

"So what do we do? What – what can we do?" the mother asked, wringing her hands together in her lap.

"Unfortunately, there is no cure for fibrous dysplasia," Arizona spoke up.

"In most cases, the treatment would mainly consist of physical therapy and pain management," Callie said calmly. "But because your son is still growing, and the previous fractures are causing the bone to bow, I think we might need to consider surgery. There's a procedure to transplant a rod down into the femur, or even a femoral prosthesis."

"Jesus," the dad said, putting his palm into his hands.

"Do we need to make a decision right now?" Annie asked.

"No, of course not," Arizona said, laying her hand comfortingly on the woman's shoulder. "Please, take a night to think about this. But we will need to make a move tomorrow either way. If you decide against surgery, we'll need to cast him as soon as possible."

.

When Callie walked Arizona to her car that night, the urge to reach out and touch her was stronger than ever. She watched as the blonde slung her messenger bag off her shoulder and onto the passenger seat through the driver's-side door.

"It's been a while since we've gotten to work together like that, huh?" Arizona asked, leaning tiredly against the open door.

"Yeah, it has," Callie said softly.

"It was kind of nice," Arizona shrugged, looking at her feet almost shyly. In a way she knew she was admitting more than she should be, baring herself to Callie in a way she hadn't in close to two months.

Callie smiled, both surprised and pleased by the genuine compliment. "I thought so, too".

The women stood in silence for a long a moment, neither knowing where to take the conversation from there. Callie tread cautiously, knowing that if she let herself get carried away with her own words, it would quickly make things strained between them again. Not wanting Arizona to grow uncomfortable with the silence, Callie cleared her throat and started again.

"I'm going to keep my cell phone on me tomorrow so if the parents make a decision let me know right away and I'll cut my presentation short."

"Presentation?" Arizona asked, eyebrows curling up in question.

"University of Washington?" Callie said, trying to jog her memory.

"Oh! God, Calliope, I'm so sorry. I totally forgot," Arizona said, placing a hand softly around Callie's wrist in apology. "This week has just been…" she began, letting out a deep sigh in lieu of words.

"It's okay," she answered.

"No, this is a huge deal for you. I should be there."

"You should be with Adrian. And his family. This is a really tough time for them. I should be finished by early afternoon, but if they want to make a move sooner I'll be there."

"Just give your presentation. Nothing will have changed by the afternoon," Arizona said, extracting her hand from Callie's arm after realizing it had been laid there longer than was appropriate.

"Promise you'll call me if it does?"

"I promise."

"Okay," Callie said, starting to head towards her own car.

"Hey," Arizona called out to her, causing her to turn. "Good luck tomorrow. You're going to do great," she smiled.

"Goodnight Arizona."

"Night."


End file.
